Sense of Self (Frerard)

Sing (Gerard & Frank's POV)

(Gerard's POV)

At night, the café is always busy. Especially when there is a new act to be seen. People are always busting for something new in this town. They all look the same to me though. Girls that wear all black but have brightly colored hair and boys that have beards and wear flannels.

The only ones I remotely care about is Pete, my brother Mikey, and his friends who usually sat in the front near the stage. I guess these shows were their chance to go on double date because every Saturday (when performances were) Pete, his sweet charming boyfriend Mikey, this cute long haired painter boy with glasses named Andy and the tall curly haired boy named Joe who made weird but entertaining jokes and would come and watch the act while eating leftover muffins and drinking sodas. They were all pretty cute if I'm being honest. Joe and Andy always held hands and hugged and Mikey and Pete were either constantly kissing or punching each other.

But that's not the thing I was concerned about, I was concerned about Frank. The show was about to start and he was nowhere to be seen. I stood in the back of the place in the shadows as I usually do and tried to spot him at one of the tables with no luck.

He bailed, Gerard. He has better things to do than sit around in this stupid shop and listen to stupid fucking music with you.

Fuck, there they are, the thoughts that run me through the fucking mud day after day. I wish I could stop being such a weak insecure bitch.

"He's probably just running a bit late or fell asleep or had to do something on his way here," I say to myself trying to calm my nerves. I repeatedly run my hands through my hair and chew on my bottom lip while I count the seconds go by; the three annoying habits that I need to stop.

The shop lights fade in and out twice signaling the performance is about to start. I stay in my position leaning against the back wall and then I remember that I still don't know who's showcasing tonight.

"It's just a game of wait and see at this point I guess," I audibly mumble to myself. The café lights go out and everything is pitch black for a few moments then I hear the static as an amp is being plugged to a guitar and I smirk to myself.

The lights slowly raise and all I can make out at first is a cardigan, a ruffle of fluffy hair and a pair of ripped jeans. The person's face was angled downwards towards their guitar then they looked up. Once I saw him my heart stopped and I couldn't breathe. My jaw had already dropped all the way to the lowest part of hell, and I was unsure if I was still alive or not. 

"F-frank....?" I say in an almost inaudible breath of shock and confusion. 

"Holy fuckin shit...no way."

(Frank's POV)

          "Okay this is bad...really fucking bad what if I fuck up the lyrics or- or fall on stage or knock something over and break it o- " 

Mikey grabs my shoulders firmly and suddenly, shocking me out of my sentence. 

"Frank!"

"Uh...uhm. Yes, Mikey??"

"Shut the fuck up, you're gonna go out there and fucking rock it and get all the dick in here okay?!"

I sit in stunned silence for about 15 seconds then I quietly say, "Well I don't know about getting all the dick in here but I promise to do my best," I try not to laugh by the end of my sentence. 

Mikey laughs along with me and gives me hug.

"Knock em dead kiddo," Mikey smirks as he walks through the door back into the common area but before he goes he turns and says in a soft comforting voice:

"All you have to do is sing. "

I nod and give a nervous smile. I take one more shaking breath and push the door open to pitch black darkness. Thankfully I knew where my stuff was set up. (Pete set all my things up so Gerard wouldn't see me. I wanted this to be a surprise.) I plug in my amp to my guitar and suddenly the lights come up. I don't notice because I'm fiddling with my guitar but then I look up to see a place packed full of people. I'm so incredibly nervous, but this is also the most excited I've been in a while. I step closer to the old fashioned looking silver mic.

          "Hey guys, how's it going?"  The whole café responds with an enthusiastic cheer and a smile spreads wide across my face.

          "Well, I'm Frank...Frank Iero and I'll be playing some rad fuckin jams for you guys tonight alright?" 

          The crowd again cheers and yells in response. The feeling of faith restored back into my body as I smile and strum the first few cords of the song

"This first song is called 'They wanted Darkness'. Hope you like it,'" I took a quick glance back at the band behind me that would be helping me out and looked back out into the crowd. Mikey gave me a thumbs up and I smiled back at him. I notice a tall slender figure standing by the back wall behind him and I strain to see who it was.

"Is that?....that's Gerard!"  I half excitedly half frantically think to myself. He looks like he just fucking saw Jesus Christ himself. I smirk at him clearing my throat.

"Alright one..two...three.."

***After the show***

I wipe the sweat off my face as I walk back stage only to be greeted with a huge overpowering hug from Mikey.

"Dude that was fucking amazing!"

"Haha, thanks Mikes" my words come out muffled and giggly due to my face being pressed into his chest so tightly. I pull back to look at him.

"Hey uhm...have you seen Gerard? I kinda wanted to talk to him."

Mikey laughs lightly,"Why, you have a crush on him or something?"

I can feel my face go hot and I know I'm blushing. Mikey's mouth falls open slightly in shock.

"You do, don't you?? You haVE A CRUSH ON MY FUCKING BROTHER?!" his voice raises causing me to quickly clamp my hand over his mouth.

"Shut the fuck up, Mikey," I say looking around he nudges me off.

"Fine, fine, whatever, I'll keep quiet but I think he left a little bit ago."

My face falls a bit.

"Ah. Well that's ok ill just.... talk to him tomorrow, I guess. Well I'm gonna head out for a smoke then I think I'm gonna hit the hay."

"Alright, I'm gonna go to Pete's place so just call me if you need anything, ok?"

"Alright," I reply, walking out into the back alley and pulling out my pack of cigs while I search for my lighter.

"Fuck! I left my lighter at home," I call out loud to myself.

"Need a light kiddo?"

A/N

FUck ive been so busy with school and shit and ive also been really sick plus my computer broke sorry for not updating i tried to make this one kinda detailed and lengthy to make up for it but it's rushed and shitty sorry.

-Rose