Chasing Pavement (ON HOLD)

Chapter Six

*Dedication: Because you're such a great friend, an amazing writer, and you made this amazing cover (: *

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Chapter Six:

[Tension]

    I got a text in the morning, from Andrea McArthur.

Andrea McArthur:

    Sorry to hear about Lara. Sucks.

    I didn’t understand what Andrea had meant by that. I would have thought as Andrea being her best friend that she would be devastated about this. Apparently not. I didn’t waste my time to reply.

    I looked in the mirror, my emerald green eyes were swollen and puffy. Most likely from all the crying I did last night. Dad had made me sleep in the loft again, I didn’t think I’d ever sleep in my bedroom again. Which was understandable of course.

    “I don’t want to live here anymore Michael.” my mother said from the kitchen.

    I was listening from the hallway, something I do best? Eavesdropping.

    “What do you mean Camilla?! Lara could come home any day. Now you just want to disappear?!” dad struggled with opening the newspaper.

    “We can have the neighbors send her to wherever we move. I just don’t want to be haunted by our pasts any longer.” she struggled, to keep the tears in.

    “Camilla. I’m not moving out. This is our home, just because we’ve had some difficulties this past year, doesn’t mean we walk away. That’s quite immature if you ask me.” he growled, slamming his cofee mug on the Granite countertop.

    “Michael! I just don’t want to think about the things that have happened! The only thing to do, to forget about these things is to move away. To forget everything! I need to get better. So do you! So does our daughter! Why are you being so selfish?!”

    What problems? We’ve been happy? Yeah, mom got laid off. But, everyone in America has been.

    “I’m not being selfish. And Sophia is perfectly fine. You see her? She’s getting better at everything! I don’t understand you Camilla. Running away from problems doesn’t help anything. If anything it makes it worse. You should know that… from last time.” dad sighed.

    “From last time?! Nothings gotten better! For awhile it did. Not anymore. I feel like you just want to band-aid the problem. Don’t you realize?! Everythings falling apart?! I want to move out. Start fresh! Forget our problems. It’s the right thing to do Michael!” she growled, yanking at her dirty-blonde hair.

    “Me? Trying to band-aid it?! I think that’s you Camilla! I’m not the one saying lets move out. Lara will be back in no time. We’ll be happy again. Sometimes I think you need help Camilla. You’re so naïve. You think everything gets better if you just pretend nothings happened.” he paused. “Let me remind you, last time was your fault. You shouldn’t have did what you did. If you hadn’t we wouldn’t have to lie. Pretend, that everything is perfect. Just to make you happy.”

    Pretend? Like last time? I didn’t understand any of this.

    “Fine. I guess, everything is my fault. Like Sophia being a total mishap. Yeah! That’s my fault. Her being stupid, barely passing classes. Being a dancer?! When I wanted her to be a cheerleader like Lara! I wanted her to be smart like Lara! Don’t you remember?! I never wanted another kid!” she screeched.

    “Calm down Camilla. I don’t know how you can say that about our daughter! She’s beautiful. Just as beautiful as Lara. Just as smart, just as athletic! So what?! She wanted to be unique! I’m glad she is! I love both of our daughters! But frankly! I’m glad that Sophia is her own person! Different, not what you and I had pictured. I’m glad she’s unique. It makes me proud. Lara always did as we told her too. Who to be! That’s our fault. We never should have pushed her. This wouldn’t have happened then.” my dad freaked, he was shaking his head.

    Tears began to stream down my face. I didn’t think my dad was proud of me. But he is. Its my mother who isn’t. I always felt like she didn’t love me, and this all added up. She didn’t. I was right, my intuition was one-hundred percent correct.

    “You and your prissy attitude towards everyone if their not perfect. If they don’t meet Camilla Johnson’s needs. You are ridiculous. You pushed Lara away, and I think this is your fault. Maybe you need to get away for awhile Camilla. Figure things out. I need to make it clear to you, that I love Sophia. Whether or not she meets your standards. She does the best she can. You don’t seem to understand that.” he fought.

    “Sophia isn’t a child I would have ever wanted Michael. She may meet your requirements, but my children need to excel at everything. Maybe you don’t ask for more then what you need. You pushed Lara away. Not me. You didn’t ask for enough! That’s the problem! You push for more, they give more. Sophia clings to us, because she doesn’t know how to stand on her own two feet!” my mother yelled.

    “Then get out. Get out! Sophia and Lara are my daughters! You treat them with respect! They will never be good enough for you! Because you’re too busy pushing them past their limits! You are a crazy whore! I should have divorced you the second I found out what you did!” my father screeched.

    I ran into the kitchen, I’m not sure why. But I did. I didn’t know what else to do.

    “I’m sorry I’m not perfect! I’m sorry I’m not Lara! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I kept repeating those words. ‘I’m Sorry.’

    My mother looked shocked, my father looked like he might kill my mother. I wept.

    “I’m leaving. I will call you later.” my mother said to my father, as she grabbed her Coach purse, Lexus keys and left.

    I fell to the floor, crying. I knew I wasn’t loved. I knew it.