Revved Up

Straw Nine - Trick or Treat

Straw Nine – Trick or Treat

As September turned into October, things seemed to be somewhat stable in my parents’ neighborhood, particularly as the blue-winged warblers began to migrate south for the winter, and windows began to close so that certain sounds became a bit muffled. 

The neighborhood, as always, began putting together its annual Halloween extravaganza. This involved, as always, wholesome activities such as a costume pageant and parade, and bobbing for apples. The houses were to be decorated as appropriately – but in not too frightening a manner. And then the decorations were to be judged by the festivity committee. This year was not intended to be an exception. 

As per usual, the neighborhood got into the spirit of things, and the decorative frenzy began! Oh, it’s all manner of frightening hobgoblins such as person-sized blue-winged warblers, petunia costumes and the occasional bunny rabbit! Oh, Officer, I do hope I didn’t scare you. If I did so, kindly rest assured that such was absolutely not my intention. 

So, as I was saying, the neighborhood Halloween celebration week was in full swing. My children, sadly, elected to spend that time temporarily staying with their father and the F-L-O-O-Z-Y. Personally, I don’t understand why they would wish to forego such clean and wholesome fun, but such is their prerogative, I suppose. As per usual, I supplied them with a full complement of nutritious and only lightly seasoned foods as, well, confidentially, between you and me, Officer; it’s hardly a nutritional paradise there, even at the best of times. But mum’s the word! You didn’t hear me say that. 

The last day of October, as you are well aware, occurred on a Saturday. The entire neighborhood was out in force! Now, you must understand, Officer, there are no small children anymore. Mine were, as I stated before, elsewhere. Others’ grandchildren and the like were also, sadly, unavailable. 

Hence the pageant and the parade were accomplished by the adults. We had great fun guessing which persons were dressed as petunias and which were dressed as bunnies! One neighbor down the street was rather easy to spot – she uses a walker, you see. There were a few of the men dressed as blue-winged warblers, and then they sang a song that they had made up about those fine creatures. Such fun! 

My parents and I set up a large tub in their front yard for the neighborhood-wide tradition of bobbing for apples. We provided, as per usual, a variety of apples in order to add some additional interest to the proceedings. 

Well, the most interesting thing was when the POJ family arrived. They were dressed as, well, to be perfectly honestly with you, Officer, I am uncertain as to whether they had truly donned Halloween costumes at all. It was definitely a form of dress-up, though, as the lady of the house had on a nurse’s uniform. I had not realized that she was an angel of mercy! Naturally, that explained all of their late nights, although I have to say that the skirt on the uniform was rather short. Furthermore, the man of the house for the people who live across the way from my parents, it was a bit of a medical emergency as his pacemaker evidently began thumping a bit too quickly. I requested that she intervene medically; seeing as she is a professional. I started to wonder, at that moment, whether she was a bit deaf, as she did not seem to hear my pleas, and an ambulance was called instead.

As for her male counterpart, he was, I suspect, not in any sort of uniform. He was wearing head to toe black leather. It was … interesting, Officer. I heard a small splash and then I was a tad distracted as the ambulance was arriving, so I’m not so sure what happened next. 

However, once the ambulance had departed and we went back to bobbing for apples, a most curious reaction began to be observed. I could aver to you that I think some people were becoming a bit inebriated. Because this was occurring, I bobbed for an apple myself, and it seemed that the water in the tub was flavored with something or other. I can’t be sure as to what it was, but the effect was much like rather strong cooking sherry. 

I confess I do not recall too much after that although things got very, very loud, and remained so, deep into the night. At times we even heard that strange thunder. 

The following day, I did not awaken until it was quite late – it was very nearly noon! When I went outside for a morning constitutional in order to clear up a sudden headache, I found that nearly no one in the neighborhood was awake. Some neighbors, along with some strangers, seemed to have camped out without tents, too, on various front lawns. This included my parents’ front lawn. Plus someone had performed a necessary bodily function in the large tub we used for bobbing for apples. I do not believe we will use it for that purpose ever again.