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Gluttony (A Slam Poem)

Thank your conscience of my restraint

I'm not in the front pew posing as a saint

Upon layers of lies, bitten skin and nails, it is you who most taint

Mar my skin red, my lips gray, my innards ashen

As your dominance pesters and makes me devoid of passion

I have all the faith in the world that you'll devour like the worms

Where I've eaten all there is and still my stomach churns

Yearning for a sliver of taste, a pinch of a morsel

Where I'm falling in the void, wrapped for you in a parcel

Feed me anxiety for breakfast, a meal of degradation for lunch

An aftereffect of self-pity and regret for the dinner my teeth refuse to munch

And for dessert, savor the sweetened iron

Carved from the surface where sucklings sip then gurgle with the throat of a quenched lion

Consume all there is until naught is left but you

Jam your thoughts with fatty portions of pessimism

An old man told me of the scraps from the garbage which you chew

The narrow-minded fool, belittling your mind's mechanism

He's a chain smoker too; Hell,when I sniff the reek of his breath

All I can think of is the blackening tissue of his lungs that brings him closer to death

But what is it about this craving? The need for the burns in our skin?

The urge of consumption that threatens us to sin

The indefinite quota of gobbling up the vices for the hunger we try to sate

Do you even know how to stop morphing it all down until it's too late?

Will you cease lodging nonsense in your esophagus until it's frozen numb

Or when your embittered senses have struck you equally dumb?

Of course, I've yet to know.

A/N: Hi. This is my first official slam poem. I'm kinda bloody drained tbh. Anyway, here's a little explanation in case the thing is somewhat confusing and not understandable:

The poem is mainly about the abusive relationship one may have with mental illness and how sometimes we can romanticize the experience with overt doses of things, whether materialistic or internal matters (excessive vices that damage the body, overthinking, over-consumption, etc.). It alludes to Mental Illness as Gluttony (hence title), since there are lots of analogies of depression and anxiety (and many others) leading up to devouring and such.

I know the poem is quite short, but it's somewhat on purpose so the reader feels that there should be more (and Gluttony is a sin that feeds off the excess or "wanting more"so). Idk, there could be an extended version, but I really wanted to test this poem out.

Performance of the poem may come up shortly, we'll see.