cinnamon ♡ lh [discontinued]

7: the sad truth

this may not really be sad truth ;)))))

luv u mani mani

note while editing: i just got into kpop and i know now that 마니마니 (mani mani) actually means "more more" so i'm really sorry about this cringy thing up there

edited: 22/10/17

7: the sad truth

It's not always about the way I feel. It's sometimes about what I don't feel. Which is, apparently, even worse for me than feeling.

I don't want to turn numb after getting heartbroken just once but I cannot help it. It's almost like someone keeps sucking out all the emotions out of me all the time and by the time I wake up the following day, I don't feel a single thing.

When I get on my bike just a day after being Luke Hemmings for 24 hours, I don't feel the wind on my face, my hair stays in place (like it never does), the music doesn't play in my earsbuds. That's because I don't have time to even set off when Luke takes me off the bike and putse in his car's passenger seat.

"I'm not going to complain only because it's fucking freezing outside today and my bike is not the best idea," I state as I watch my bike parked now inside his garage and he nods without a smile. I frown.

"What's wrong?"

"You. You are so wrong."

What the hell is he on about? Did I do something wrong? Or maybe it's about that it's not that cold outside today?

"No, it actually is around four degrees ab-"

"If I could give one less fuck than I do now, I would have invented an ammount lower than nothing."

I can't believe him. This boy is fucking ridiculous. It was only yesterday that he was hugging the shit out of me with a huge grin on his face. What the hell is all this about?

"I'm leaving," I say sternly, pulling on the knob but the door (unsurprisingly) is locked. I turn to his emotionless expression. "What the hell, Luke? I don't have time for this. We have school."

He turns on the engine, not sparing me a single glance. His eyes look tired and there are bags underneath them, indicating he didn't get enough sleep last night but that is not an excuse to treat me like shit.

"No, we have a hundred tulips to plant."

I swear, by now I've already known he was a lunatic but he has proven himself just fine by that simple statement.

I don't say a word - why would I? I mean, he's still my secret crush and he's still in the car with me, offering to plant flowies together. Perfect, almost.

If you don't think about the fact that it's all for a school project, it's perfect. And if you forget he's hopelessly in love with someone else.

Somehow, we end up in the queue to the check-outs in a huge DIY store with a hundred tulip follicles, two pairs of pink rubber gloves and a tiny lollipop that Luke has thrown in the basket just as we were about to hand our stuff to the cashier.

The drive home is different, I can see Luke smiling often and sometimes even answering my questions. I take a mental note to ask about what bothered him later, just not at the moment.

Because now he seems to forget about everything for a second, screaming Panic! At The Disco lyrics at the top of his lungs like there is no tomorrow and there are no neighbours to scold at him for being loud.

We reach This Is Gospel's chorus when he parks his car in front of my house and stops the engine. The music doesn't stop, though, and we still sing with our heart and soul put into each sung word.