cinnamon ♡ lh [discontinued]

9: the seek of sadness

yooo babes i know

i have no excuse

here's a chappie and welcome to every new reader that has come along during my winter/spring hiatus! so happy you all still read this little ray of sunshine 💖

question of the chapter: who is your favourite character in the book? i'm actually curious who's got the special place in your hearts 😊

edited: 28/10/17

9: The seek of sadness

It is not a surprise that Georgia decided to abort the child. She's, in fact, still a child herself so the decision is (ironically) the only rational and mature choice. But we'll still get there later; I wanted to give you a head start.

When Luke and I got home, and while we were speaking with my mom, she was closed up in her room and tucked under her covers. We weren't even aware she was there until she left her room with bland eyes and shaky hands to use the toilet, and we could have missed her if we blinked just once because she slipped from one door to another in a matter of seconds. She didn't seem sad at all. In fact, she seemed emotionless in every sense. Numb, if anything.

I close the window in the living room and turn to Luke who is now sat in Georgia's favourite armchair. I decide not mention it.

"I need her to talk to me," I tell him but he shakes his head.

"The only thing you need to do is to give her time, Luna. She has to let it sink in," he says with a sigh.

He looks bored but I know he's just tired. All of this is hard for him too and I'm grateful he's still here with me because after all, none of this is his business and he could just leave if he wanted to. But he's still here.

I know. I understand she needs space but I can't help my feet when they carry me to her room. It's almost like I hear the knock on G's door, as if someone does it for me and I just watch.

She opens the door and she looks... normal.

"Hey, is everything alright?" she asks me and I'm bewildered. Is she really this okay with the fact that she's having a baby?

Then I remember we share a mother. The same one that remains calm and collected on the outside at all times, but is dying on the inside when and where no one is looking.

I walk past her and enter her room. It looks tidy, like usually. The only thing that looks different is the wall beneath her bed. It used to be plain white; now there is a black picture frame hanging there with a recent photograph. Of her and Tristan, smiling towards the camera, eyes closed with how big their smiles are. Tris has got an arm over her shoulders, and she's burrying half of her face in his chest and tries to cover the other half with her fingers.

It is heartbreaking to see her having so much hope in him, even in this situation.

"Are you fine, Luna?" she repeats with concern.

"I am, yes. Thank you."

There is this pure silence in the room for a mere second.

"I don't think we should have a baby this soon," she finally speaks up, looking at the same picture I was staring at seconds ago. "We love each other but I'm too young, aren't I?"

I smile at her and sit on the bed, gesturing for her to sit next to me. "I'm happy you're still so sure of him, even after all of this."

She smiles back. "Why wouldn't I? He's my only hope, and my only home in this lonely world. He's helped me find myself when I didn't even know I was lost. Why wouldn't I be sure of him?"

I study her face for any sign of sadness or fear, but there is none. Her eyes are filled with trust and love, and I know she feels safe. This is when I realise how far I've grown apart with my little sister.

How long would that go if Georgia never got pregnant?

"You know I kept calling you a whore behind your back?" I say staring at the wall in front of me and suddenly feeling guilty. "I'm the one who gave you the reputation, I think. Maybe people thought shit about you before, too, but I was the one who started the slut-shaming."

She laughs quietly but doesn't touch me. She has always been physically distant from everyone and did not at all like the idea of platonic touch.

"I gave myself the reputation, sis. That's what I was - a worthless whore - until I met Tris. And I really am sure I will marry this guy one day and carry love and children of his. But this is going to happen one day. Definitely not today," she explains again. "You know, having a little heart under your belly is actually quite funny. I mean, I haven't felt it yet because the child is only 3 and a half weeks old now but I am aware it's there and it's making me ticklish."

I smile at her and hug her carefully. She seems so fragile and precious, and needs to be protected. My little bean.

"Where's Tris now?" I ask carefully, afraid that I could hit a nerve.

"He's at work. When he found out yesterday, he promised me we'd work it out and started to do overtime to earn more money for me and the child, but I've already made up my mind. I'm having an appointment in three days."

I'm about to tell her that I'm proud of her and that I love her, when we hear a knock on the door. Georgia stands up to open the door but she doesn't even make it to the knob when they open. Luke stands in the doorway with a poorly drawn card that reads misspelled "Congratulations". There's also a girl in a pink dress drawn in the front and what I notice immediately is that she's drawn from the side for the viewer to see her baby belly.

"I heard a knock on the front door and when I opened it, there was only this card laying in front of it and no-one to be seen. I thought it was for you so I brought it here," Luke tells Georgia and she smiles, thanking him.

It's probably from that little girl from our neighbourhood, meaning that the news has already spread. It makes me uncomfortable, knowing everyone is already judging my little sister for what she believes to be inconvenient just because she's young.

Nevertheless, no cute cards nor her unimaginable love for Tristan can lead her away from her decision and three days later, the child is gone.

I feel like I should maybe expand the procedure more, but that is really it. She enters the room, the nurse tells her to sit down and that's all we can see or hear because then she is to be left alone and wait for the doctor.

She comes back with a sad smile and immediately leaves holding hands with Tristan, who looks way more devastated than she is. We all (meaning my mom, Luke and I) let them go. We know that this boy next to her is going to keep her safe.

It feels heartbreaking, looking at Tristan's tear-stained cheeks and Georgia's empty eyes, but we all know it's for the best.

"You alright?" I hear when we leave the hospital, barely a whisper by my ear.

G and her boyfriend get into his car and leave, and that's the last we see of them that day. Mom is behind me and Luke, talking to someone on the phone to keep herself busy.

"Yeah, thanks," I reply, accepting Luke's extended arm and intertwining our fingers. "I'll be fine."

"Good. I'm going to make sure you are, Moongirl, don't worry. Georgia is strong and she's got Tris by her side if it all gets a little too hard to bear."

'And I've got you,' I think but say nothing while we get into his car.

a bit of emotion here but hey dont you like a good old drama

awh luna is fixing her relationships with people she loves and is growing up so fast, sigh :')

love you guys so much
your boo x