A Dark Past

An epiphany

Her heart beat was irregular, beating so fast she was surprised it didn't leap out of her chest altogether. She knew what it was like to be unbearably depressed, anxious and feeling like she couldn't live another day but she had never in all of her life felt so afraid. It was a new experience for her, to be actually afraid not just for her safety but for her life. Since when did she care?

A blindfold covered her eyes, the fabric irritating her soft skin. She was led down a series of corridors (or so she thought because she kept having to turn) until her head was bent down quite roughly and she was led down a winding staircase. Every sound was magnified and the loud high pitched sound of a lock being unbolted made her flinch. A small push forward sent her flying into her holding place making her land painfully on the hard cold ground and her blindfold to come off scratching her face in the process.

Her vision was blurred and it took several long drawn out seconds for her to finally come to her senses and take note of her surroundings. She was in what seemed to be a small cell hung with cobwebs with a dank smell of uncleanliness. A small sob escaped her as she realized there was no window, nothing not even a small hole in the wall. She needed that to keep her sane, to remind her there was a world out there however distant and out of reach.

When she was in hospital the window across the room was her saviour. She could still recall the view outside: the small cluster of buildings beside a playground with the magnificent forest in the background seeming out of place in the ordinary dishevelled excuse for a town. Her favourite time of year was in the autumn when gradually half of the pine trees would turn the bright luscious colour of orange. It would give her that little bit of hope to cling to whatever she had left in her pitiful grasp. At that time of year only an occasional child was to be seen in the playground under their parents careful supervision kicking the falling leaves finding something so trivial so entertaining. She leant back against the smooth stone wall now unable to stop her thoughts wandering to little Ben. God she missed him, she missed him so much and hoped and prayed that he was okay again. Would she ever see him again? Highly doubtful. When he gets older he probably wouldn't even remember her name. Sara would make sure of that. Stuck up bitch that she was.

For the first time in what felt like forever she felt lonely, desperately and irrefutably lonely. Her heart was as desolate as the cell she was being held captive in and just as dark. What however was most frightening was the bare shocking realization that she didn't want to die. Not now maybe not ever. This life however bittersweet would have to be enough for her because as much as she loved Sam she couldn't bring herself to go that far. To plunge a dagger through her heart or let herself fall from that balcony. She wasn't ready to die and that epiphany scared her. Since when had she come so far or felt this strongly? She didn't know but she was glad of it.  

She finally drifted off to sleep, her mind at ease at last after so long. She didn't know why she was here or what was going to happen to her but one thing she did know was that  she would fight to survive another day.

                                                         Magalie's P.O.V

Nathan was acting so strangely. She should be so happy, she was safe again and with the man she loved but something was off. She wished he would just talk to her, tell her what was wrong. The sooner they got out of this god damned city the better. Behind it's beautiful façade there lied a web of lies and betrayal. This was where Charles grew up and for her Amsterdam was tainted because of this. Nathan had left the hotel room early telling her he just had to take care of something but he would be back soon. He had sounded worried but he wouldn't tell her why giving her a quick kiss on the way out making her forget all her anxieties. She smiled to herself now, she was being stupid and paranoid because that was all that she had ever known to be. Now times would be different, she had Nathan and they would face the world together.

She flinched but then relaxed when she felt a pair of strong arms wind around her waist. His sweet voice spoke into her ear: "We're free, we can go". At first she couldn't take it in but then she screamed in delight. "But how? What about Charles and what I have to do?" "Relax, everything is taken care of, I'll book our flight now" he said trying to soothe her but his voice was laced with a sense of regret or sadness, she couldn't tell which. "You'll come back here again when Charles is gone, don't worry" He smiled at her masking his pain. "Yeah I know".

She packed her suitcase feeling so carefree forgetting all her earlier misgivings. She was leaving Amsterdam and that was what counted. She wondered what Nathan had had to do to make Charles so complacent and stopped packing suddenly. She had to see Charles and make sure he hadn't made Nathan do something he would later regret. She ran out of the hotel hailing a taxi hoping she wasn't making a dire mistake.