Love is a fortress

Bambi dextruss

soez I waz wif a bent cinderella and we waz on a adventure in da amazon pine forest on top of the Nile river fiting zombie aliens. I used my vampire powrs to pwn al of dem cuz im awsum wile Cinderella wz a damsel in disssssstresssssss. it waz a lotta fun.

Then we all decided that cuz we were lef handed and there's some group of dafty morons out dere who believe that left handed people shuldd diez, wes decide to become ambidextrous.

Den my girlbend starts singing about some deer callz bambi dextruss, and wez all had funnest wiv our bambi dextrous ambidextrous damsel in disssstressss surounded by zombie aliens on top of the amazon river in da middle of the appalachian mounts wiv werewolves.

sadly our enjoyment died qucikloy bcuz some stupid idiot said dat math was a bad subjecgt and wez all waz liek "JOIFJOIQOIJO LJOKJHGJKHEUIGTEIOHJV K,HCK JHAOAFHUOIQW 3HEF HJDF HDK JHK JHCK J HKSDF HI EUYSKJHJHFKJHS FDKJHF DKJSHFDJKHFJD H!?.........?O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O"

and he waz all liek "KJFALKJFOW3JIOTHJEIOH 924UO42U  KJWIONCVMNIOHW IW HJIOERY238 9YURF IKJSD KJSDSFKLADJOD IWEJOFIJSKL DHKLJ,CKAHOW IRTIOEHTYIOREHRSIOH  IS JFIOWER 89........"

and we waz liek "YOU STUPIDZ IDIOT!"'

and he waz all liek "YOU A FILFY BROWN COCKROACH!"

and i hate da color brown so Izza die of sadness wile he diez of stupidity.

and i come back cuz i'm a vampire in a seven inch tall forest in da middle of da Rocky Mountains looking through mah telescope at mah girlbend who bends girls while cinderella drowns in Honduras.

then cuz it's a romance i had to fall lin love wif sumbody so i found some random gril off da street who said i was a green slug but im impartial to the color green so i survived and met my girlbend and hid in mah seven inch tall fortress wif my wife who dies cuz my kids were imaginary and died like my imaginary wife and so i was a vampire who went to the nile river in alaska.

den a nerd attacked me and i fell to dah grounndz gazping for aih and da nerd starting spouting maf problems and i was liek "wat da HECK" and hes all liek "YOU IS FAILING YOUR READING/WRITING COURSE! YOU IS NEEDING A TUTOR!" and den i was liek "I AM A VAMP SO I TOOK THAQT COURSE A GAZZILLION TIMEX1 WHERE IZZA BELLA SWAN CUZ I NEED A GIRLFRIEND CUZ I'M A SPARKLY VAMPIRE!"

AND DEN A BUNCH OF ANTI TWILLIGHT PEOPLE SHOWED UP AND STARTED WHACKING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND I WAS LIEK "WHAT DA HECK"

and den da nerd says "YOU IS A STUPID IDJIT! VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLY IN DA SUNLIGHT!"

and den cinderella starts sobbing again as Bob tries to calm her down and i'm liek "it's okay cinderella! we canz go back to saskatchewan river system next year!'

and she was liek "BUT I WANNA GO TO DISNEY LAND!"

and den a mousey said "YOU CANNAT GO TO DISNEY LAND! YOU GOTTA GOES TO DISNEY WORLD!"

and den some random kid was liek 'THAT'S HOW THE RED MAN TURNED RED!"

and den some redhead was liek "WE'S BETTER DAN MICKEY D'S!"

and another place was was liek 'FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY FIVE DOLLAR SEVEN FOOT LONG! EAT FRESH FOODS OR DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

and den da world explodeds.

but I survive cuz I'm a vamp.

A/N

Oooooh! Cliffhanger! I hope you all enjoyed it. Now I'm expecting 4268761648951564894516589416464316545151915954165273574336 votes and 4445445522574144744141511445841144 comments and 7894561232156498789845651321596159732 fans before I even  CONSIDER looking at this story again!