HOW TO GET FAMOUS

7. Getting Knocked Up

Okay this chapter is for the ladies only.

God blesses all women by giving us the ability to have children. And we are reminded that every fucking month.

Small children are horrible to be around. They suck and they're annoying. They cry and shit every 5 minutes.

Having a kid hurts really bad. It feels like a mini van is driving out of your vagina.

Sometimes your baby daddy will leave you , leaving you to take care of the kid and pay for everything.

But what would happen if you were to get knocked up by a guy with money and fame...

INSTANT FAME DUH.

okay so first you have to be a hoe.
No guy (especially a famous guy) is going to say "I think it's time to have kids." It has to be an 'accident'.

This is one of those situations you can take into your own hands.
There are several things you can do to take it into your own hands.

1.Make sure you're both drunk.
If you both are drunk the chances of him putting a condom on is slimmer than if he was sober.

2. Have a condom in your purse, with a hole already poked in it. Then have sex in a dark room and give him the condom and boom your pregnant.


3.Even If it's a one night stand have sex multiple times in that one night.



Once your pregnant tell EVERYONE! Do every interview, everything.

And the story would be really juicy if he was already in a relationship.

Once you actually have the kid then I don't know what to tell you because kids suck. Obviously you'll be getting thousands of dollars a month for child support so hire a nanny duh.

AND THE FAME WILL BE AWESOME.

And never tell anyone that you had to act like a crazy bitch to get pregnant.