Cancer//joshler

.:4:.

The doctor decided to come in ten minutes later. He put a cold stethoscope up to my chest and I flinched.

"Your heart sounds are a little muffled, and they make a gargling sound. I am not positive if there is fluid in there." Dr. Reynolds said.

"Well I puked blood so maybe there is fluid in there, wanna double check?" My harsh tone earned me a dirty look from my mom. I knew it wasn't fair to treat this doctor like shit, because not all doctors were like the ones we dealt with when we lost my grandpa.

"I do want to take an x-ray, maybe a cat scan" he rolled his stethoscope back around his neck and proceeded out the door. "Someone will be in here shortly" his voice was crackling.

I realized doctors aren't supposed to deal with their patients problems, but I think me being rude really affected him. Oh well just another person to hate me.

Another doctor came in shortly. "I am Dr. Kramer, cardiologist" I thought of him of more as a murderer. He had that look in his eyes. Heart surgeons are the worst type of surgeons, they massage your heart a little and then tell you you're fine. Twenty hospital bills later you realize you were never fine.

"I'll be taking you in for the X-rays, so please change into this gown" he set it down on the foot of the bed. The hideous turquoise color stared back at me.

"Does my butt show?" I asked my mom after putting on, and she just laughed. Yeah my butt shows. Thanks god I'm wearing boxers.

They wheeled me out of the room, and led me down a hallway. I couldn't help but look around. I saw a kid way younger than me, almost Jay's age hooked up to at least 10 different tubes. He was smiling and walking through those halls with his head up. He was brave, a skill that most of us find it hard to inquire.

When we got into the room I saw a huge machine that connected to another huge machine.

"Don't be scared, it's just an X-ray" the nurse told me. I read her name as Ray. "Trust me I'm not scared, I'm just kind of weirded out by all of this. I'm hoping I can make it out soon enough for my party tonight" why did I have to say something that sounded so selfish?

"Teens, I remember the good old days before medical school" she smiled to herself.
"You'll live long enough to have your party" she assured me and I nodded.

"Ok Tyler" I heard Dr. Kramer's voice on a loud speaker. "Don't move, stay still" I could hear muffling from the microphone he was speaking into, which made it harder to focus.

"You might feel the table shake, but that's just the laser trying to get a perfect picture" his voice sounded as if he was talking to a child, which I didn't consider myself one.

"And we're done, I'm just going to wheel you back into your room until we get some results" I nodded at his statement.

I liked being wheeled around, I didn't have to walk or put any effort at all. If only Brendon or Pete were here, they were the only ones who understood the meaning of fun.

Dr. Kramer came in about a half an hour later, it literally felt longer. He cleared his throat, and jotted a few things on the stacks of paper he was holding.

"Is everything ok?" My mom was impatient as fuck, but I realized that's where I got it from. We waited for an answer, but still didn't receive one.

"Well" he cleared his throat again. "Tyler has a primary cardiac tumor"

"Cancer?" My moms eyes were focused on every word he was saying. That word made my heart stop beating, and I know she felt the same.

"Yes, but right now it's very minor, this explains the tightening of his chest and the shortness of breath." His face was still red, there had to be more information that he wasn't giving us.

"You can't call it out like something small, there's more I know there is" I spoke up this time.

"Tyler this case is very rare, yes it can grow larger and fall into the bloodstream, but I am telling you know that it's very rare" why the hell was he repeating himself so much?

"Right now it's starting to close up a small valve in your heart, if the tumor doesn't grow in the opposite direction you can lose blood supply, and this will cause a stroke" that was the big finale I was waiting for.

"So we're going to wait for it?" I asked with a confused look ok my face.

"Yes, see these tumors have a mind of their own. We can't just go in and start tearing your heart apart until we see change." I could wait, but not with this chest pain.

"How long are we waiting?" I needed to know how long I might have to live.

"A while, when you start to feel light headed, or the pain medication that I'm going to give you doesn't help with the pain, we will know that we should start moving fast" I breathed out, I had time.

"Mrs. Joseph I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this, I always hate to be the one that has to break it to the mom. It sucks, but you have to be notified, and you have to know we're going to be doing everything we can to help" my mom smiled at him, and I couldn't help but smile because he seemed determined. It was all new to us. New to me.

I know that this is all going to come back and bite me in the ass, so I'm preparing for the worst and living for right now.

Now how the hell am I going to tell my friends?