Cancer//joshler

.:10:.

"Melanie please just walk away from me" I pleaded.

"Why what's wrong Tyler?" Her face was too beautiful to look at right now, so I couldn't tell her while making eye contact.

"I have some problems, and I don't want to drag you into them" I simply said.

"I'm sorry you don't feel the way I do, 'cause I had a lot of fun at your party" her hand was now on my shoulder.

"You didn't have fun. We were kissing. Not talking. You know nothing about me except for my name. You saw my lash out on Josh and then you left" I breathed out and walked away. She didn't follow me. I didn't expect her to.

"Ty Ty is baby Ty ok?" Pete pulled on one of my hoodie strings.

"Not in the mood Pete" I kept walking.

"Cry on my shoulder sweet Tyler" he jogged after me.

"I said I'm not in the fucking mood, go suck Patrick's dick and get lost" I hated myself at this very moment.

"What's gotten into you? I don't text back once and you get all mad" I wanted to tell him, but Pete wasn't one to take these things like anyone else.

"Nothing" my voice sounded even more angered.

"Were brothers. Since kindergarten when I told you that cigarettes made you get taller, and you believed me. That's when I knew our brotherhood was destined" I laughed at the memory.

"Come here" I held his wrist and led him into the music room.

"What's with the secrecy? If it's girl trouble I'm pretty sure no one in the halls will care about the things that come out of your mouth" I held my hand up to his mouth to shut him up.

"I have cancer" I said. He started laughing.

"That's so funny, get to the juicy stuff Ty. No more fucking around" I stayed quiet. His eyes widened.

"You're not lying are you?" His voice grew softer. I shook my head. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry" was all he said, and it was all he had to say.

By the time poetry class came around I was half asleep. Brendon was next to me on his phone, and Dallon was behind me sniffing something heavily.

"Tyler I gotta talk to you after class k man?" Brendon whispered over to me, and I nodded.

What could he want to talk about? What if Pete told him. I knew I couldn't trust him. From day one with those cigarettes he lied to me, about 11 years later and I still fall for it. Why doesn't this cancer just smack me across the face and knock me out already? I've had enough.

At the end of class Brendon and I met outside in the football field. The bleachers were freezing. But Brendon gave me his extra hoodie.

"So what's up?" I asked once we were settled.

"I've been having some problems lately" he started.

"With?" I continued for him.

"Tyler I think I'm gay" he flat out said it, with no hesitation.

"You think?" I was a little puzzled because when a person feels something, they aren't hesitant about it.

"Yes I fucking think. I'm scared. I know I was hanging with those girls at your party, but it felt weird the entire time. Lately sex hadn't been the way it was when I first started. I've been more attracted to someone specific" our breathing was the only thing that could be heard. I was listening to Brendon so intensively.

"Can I ask who you like?" I offered him a smile.

"I like R-Ryan. I know you hate me because he's Josh's friend and Pete already likes Patrick. You hate Josh. Josh fucked Jenna. It's all messed up, but I like him Tyler, like a lot" he was digging in his pocket, I had a feeling I knew what he was doing. A second later he pulled out some weed and a lighter.

"Want one?" He offered, and I declined.

"You never say no to one of these, something's gotta be up with you too then huh?" How did he know to diagnose me?

"Um yeah actually" I admitted.

"You gonna share?" He scooted closer to me.

"Well I'm not gay, at least I don't think. Well....maybe a little, but anyways" we both laughed.

"I have a medical problem" I began. "I have cancer Brendon" his face froze.

"Are you ok Beeb-?" He cut me off.

"No you're not going to do this to me. You don't get to fucking cheer me on and listen to me weep about being gay only to break the news that you have cancer. And when were you planning to tell me this? Oh tell Brendon things last because he can't compose himself. Well fuck you. I have feelings too. I can react too" he was standing now, and his hair was poking out in all directions.

"Are you done?" I said.

"Not yet" he said. "And now you're sitting in front of me like you're ok. Tyler if you're sick go get help don't sit around here and just live like it's normal. It's not. You should be at home, and we should skip school to comfort you. Hell, I should be asking you if you want sleepy time weed. Now I'm done" he sat back down.

"Sorry" was all I could say.

"We never do this unless it's necessary. Were teenage boys, and it's weird. But give me a hug man" he leaned in. All of his warmth was put onto me. He was my blanket.

"So none of us are going through life alone huh?" He asked when he pulled away.

"I guess not" I answered.

"Well if we're all going through shit, maybe we can make a weird circle group thing. I've always wanted to try one of those" he confused me most of the time.

"A support group?" I asked.

"I don't know what the fuck they are called. I just need to rant to people about my problems" I laughed at his statement.

"Fair enough"