I slowly make my way down the steps still groggy from sleeping. No ones up yet and I'm not surprised, considering its 6am.
I'm surprised to find Zayn asleep on the living room couch seaming to be completely unharmed. I guess Liam didn't tear him apart last night.
I go into the kitchen and put on a whole kettle of tea knowing when the Niall wakes up he'll need something to help with the hangover.
I start making breakfast for everyone because I know they'll be up soon enough. I'm surprised when Niall comes stumbling into the kitchen at 7am looking disheveled and ill.
"Hey, mate" I greet him surprised he's up
"Hi, Lou" he mumbles slumping down into one of the bar stools
"How are you feeling?" I ask him
"Shitty"
"You want some tea?" I offer to him
He nods "my heads splitting" I pour him a cup and hand it to him and he sips it gratefully "What are you doing up so early?"
"I have to go the hospital. I have an appointment for my hand" I motion to the thickly wrapped cast in the sling on my arm
"Are you going to find out if it worked today?" He asks me
"Yes" I sigh out a shaky breath
"You nervous?"
I nod "I just don't know what to expect"
"Trust me, I completely understand" he sighs taking a long sip of his tea
I eye the lad before me sadly. This isn't the Niall I knew just a few weeks ago. This Niall seams so lost, angry, sad and confused now. This Niall is losing his battle against death and it's the absolute most painful thing to watch.
There's a quiet pause between us "How are you feeling?" I ask him
"I told you; my head hurts" he says quietly knowing what I meant but ignoring it
"That's not what I meant. Cmon Ni, this is the first time you've spoken to any of us since..." I trail off
"I know" He sighs "Honestly I just feel...emotionless. Like I'm feeling a million different things at one time yet I can't feel anything" he drops his head in his hands pulling at his hair restlessly
"I...Ni, I" I pause trying to find the right words "I think you need to get help" I bite my lip nervous for his reaction
"W-what do you mean?" He asks sounding hurt
"I think you need to talk to a therapist." I sigh
"What!?" His head shoots up quickly
"I just think you need to talk to someone, it's like you said Ni, you're feeling a million different things but you're also not allowing yourself to feel them. I'm just worried about the emotional toll that's taking on you. It's just-it's killing me to see you like this Niall" I explain quickly not wanting to upset him
He drops his head again "I know." He lets tears fall down his cheeks "It's killing me too. I don't want to feel this way anymore. This isn't me..."
I take a deep breath holding back my own tears. It hurts so much to see Niall like this "I know it isn't. Listen mate, I have to go but just think about it alright?" I rest my hand on his shoulder supportively
He nods wiping up his face "I will"
I smile weakly and head for the door "oh and Lou" he stops me
YOU ARE READING
Just Breathe
FanfictionI'll never forget that day. That day the doctor told me, I, Niall Horan, had cancer. Cancer. That awful, deadly disease that we all pray we never have to live with. I had it. It was there. Living, growing inside me like a weed. Tearing me apart, suc...
