That Winter

That Winter 16

I was starting to feel better that morning that I got up.

I felt alive till I remembered that it was school.

Crap!

I put on some jeans and a long sleeve shirts and my jacket . And Out the door .

It looks like I'm early so might as well stop by the store .

I went in and grabbed some fruit and water along with some throat drops.

Paid and went to school.

It was the same as always , went to class , got bullied, endure pain, ate, finished the rest of class.

I'm glad it's over. Wait. Its not.

I have to tutor Harry for what class was it?

I don't know he'll tell me.

I got home and look who's here at my door steps.

I'll give you a hit. hair.

If you guessed Harry well that's him and if you guessed some thing else well that's your problem.

Okay Chris you need to be brave!

"Can I come inside?"

Startled by his comment. I woke from my thoughts.

"Yes"

I open the door and let him in.

"So Harry ? what is it that you need help on?"

"Photography ."

Vague answer.

"What in photography is it that you need help on?"

"Every thing I guess?"

This will take a while.

"Well then let's get started."

"Hm."

The session took 2hours!!

I had to explain how to use the camera to him. that took 1 hour and do not get me started on how to capture pictures.

"Well, since you stayed here long enough I guess you could stay for dinner."

"Thanks."

"Yeah let me get started on dinner.oh do you have anything in mind that you would like to eat?"

"Spaghetti."

"Okay!"

I got out all the stuff for the dish.

While I was cooking , it was strange that he was being polite. He is usually mean.

"Um Harry ?"

"Yeah."

"Um...I was wondering why your being so polite?"

"I'm not sure. but do you want the truth? "

"Yes."

"I not really the guy you see in school. like you said its just my image."

"Oh. I see so you're going to continue being a bully at school?"

"Honest answer?"

"Honest answer."

"Yeah."

'YOU ARE A BITCH!' Is what my 2nd wants to say but I'm going to contain myself .

"I don't understand but if that the way it's going to be then. I'm going to leave this school."

"What! why?"

"Well, I just can't be in such an environment where bulling is okay. I'd rather go back to New York . at least my friends won't make me into something I'm not. "

I turn around and there he was looking at me.

With pleading eyes.

But also upset.

I can see his mouth move.

"I understand that you want to leave but I don't appreciate that your making fun of my friends.even if there not that great."

"I'm sorry , your right . Its just that well. I don't think you would understand ."

"What would I not understand?"

"It's nothing . I don't even know why I'm telling you this ."

"Well, thanks for helping me. I got to go. thank you for cooking but ill be going."

Thank god! I'd be very awkward . I swear! ever since he started acting nice to me I felt weird . and I started to fall for him again.

Just when I was giving up he make it worse . Worse that I still love him. if this keeps up I might not be able to go back.

If I don't get over him Im just hurting me .

Maybe I should tell him? I love him and we knew each other.

No! He'll just step all over my heart. besides he doesn't even remember . why would he. I'm nothing . might as well leave right?

But he was concerned that I was leaving. maybe he does care? maybe he's the same boy I fell in love with? and he's just hiding his true self.

I know what I'll do! wait no! I don't have a clue on such matters!

I need help! I wish my friends were here.

I finished cooking and left to my room.

Why can't I be like the other girls? brave and strong.

After I brushed and showered I grab some bed.

Next day.

I got up as always and went to school like usual.

But there was something new.

Probably another reason for me wanting leaving.

Something changed.

Harry has a girlfriend .

She's everything that I'm not.

A perfect Barbie .

I'm just smart, mousey, keeps to myself, book worm, geek, and not a plastic .

I'm not jealous but I just think he could do better than a fake.

Maybe that's what his popularity calls for but I still feel hurt.

Betrayed because once he got a girlfriend the bullying began again.

After school him and his buddies cornered me and at first it was just emotional bullying then it got physical.

Slaps were made and kicks to my stomach.

They left me there.

Did not care if I had bleed to death.

I was crying by then.

He said he's not like that.

He said that and he is acting this way!

Lies.lies.lies !!

All lies! never trust ! and you won't be hurt.

If that's what it's going to take to never be hurt by another being than I will.

I will be cold.

I will be distant.

I will not forgive.

I will trust no one.

I will never love ether.

Yet again I am broken.

Funny but I think it's best if I should leave, it hurts to see him acting so nice to someone besides me and it sadness me to force myself to forget.

But I think it's good by for real this time so don't cry but I'm not coming back.

See you, my love.

Thanks for reading! I'm sorry that I have not update in so long! Blame it on high school. thanks for reading.