Lost

Chapter 1

"No matter what people tell you, you generally don't have anything to say anyways! What is with you these days?" She said as she watched me put a book on my bookshelf. I didn't have anything to say to her now either.

"So, you're just going to ignore me?"

"Just like you said," I began my sentence in a very calm voice. "I don't have anything to say."

She walked out of my room and slammed the door behind her. Typical Jenna. She doesn't care. She never did.

As I walked back over to the recliner in my room, I passed by a family picture from a Florida vacation. I was fourteen years old and Jenna was sixteen. We all looked so happy back then. Dad was still alive and mom looked like she was having the time of her life. The best part, was that Jenna and I were close. Jackson was just kind of sitting there, but that's what happens when you have a thirteen year old brother and your mom makes him take a family photo when he doesn't want to. He has always been the least photogenic of us all.

When I sat down, I realized I forgot to put my journal on the shelf with my book. I got back up and put it up and when I did, I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," I said.

I knew it was Jackson.

He walked in with tears in his eyes. I went and closed the door and I sat there hugging him tight on the floor.

"It will be okay Jackson," I said in a soft voice. "I promise this will get better."

Dad passed away about three weeks ago. It's been hard on us all, but it hit Jackson the hardest. Jackson was constantly around dad no matter what he was doing or where he was at. He knew dad was selling drugs before any of us did. He didn't tell mom because he didn't want him to have to leave. Now he has nightmares because he was with dad when a drug deal went wrong and he got shot.

Jackson was the only one around in that dark alley other than dad and the other man. Dad told Jackson to stay in the car as he got out to go greet the other man. They stood in front of the car for a while. Their voices steadily got louder and eventually Jackson rolled down the window. He tried to hear exactly what they were saying, but he couldn't. Before he knew it, he heard a loud bang and the man ran off. He didn't know what he looked like, so it didn't help the police much, but what would they have done anyways?

"Sheila," he sobbed. "When? When will this get better?"

"It will take time," I whispered. "You just have to try. I know you. I know you're trying as hard as you can. Never give up, okay? Promise me you will never give up no matter what."

He dried up his eyes and stood up and walked over to my bed and looked out the window.

"I promise," he whispered.

"Good," I said as I got up. "I'm gonna go get you a water. I'll be right back."

I walked downstairs and grabbed him a water bottle. Mom looked at me and smiled softly.

"I heard him scream again," she said. "Is he alright?"

"I think he will after he has some time. That's all he needs. It's already getting better, but I honestly doubt it will ever go away."

"Do you think he needs counseling?"

"Maybe, but not right now. He would freak out if we did it so soon."

I walked back up to my room and as I handed Jackson the water bottle, my phone buzzed. It was Anthony.

Hey. I was checking in with you. I noticed you and Jackson weren't here at school again today. Can I see you today?

I set my phone down without responding. Anthony and I, well, I don't know what we are. He cares, I care, but we aren't together. He looks at me like family and I don't think of him that way. I never have.

"Sheila," Jackson said as he looked at me. "Go see him."

"How did you-" I said, but he interrupted.

"That's all he ever wants is to see you. You've been putting him off long enough. Go see him. It will be good for you to get out of the house and get some fresh air. You've missed a lot lately. He's used to having you around just like I am."

"I know he is, but life happens sometimes, you know?"

"I do, but I also know that he misses you. Go have some fun even if it's just for an hour."

I really didn't want to, but if that's what Jackson wanted me to do, I guess that's what I was going to do.

"Fine."

I can meet you at the park in 15?

Jackson left the room and I got out some decent clothes to wear. He didn't take long to respond to me.

Same spot?

Same spot.

Alright! See you in a few!

I don't know how ready I am for this, but I will make the most of it. I kind of have to. I'm not going to lie. I really miss him, but it's been a while since I've seen him. I just hope it's not awkward.