Holding on - Joshler

I have no ideas for a chapter name.

Death.
Death is what covered the face of Josh's best friend.
There was a small funeral, dressed in black with white accessories.
Tears rolled out of Josh's mocha coloured eyes.
He blinked and for a second he wanted to keep his eyes closed. He wanted to close off from the world. Go back to his room and lay with Tyler's favourite shirt.
But he couldn't.
He was here now and no one cared about where he wanted to be. They cared about making him think they were his friends, and at this point he was angry. The pink haired boy pushed his anger back down. Vowed to be kept away.
Bottled up.

They had covered his beautiful freckles with foundation.
Tyler was the only thought he had had for at least a few weeks now.
He didn't care about sleep. He didn't care about 'friends'.
He just missed Tyler.

He missed the feeling of his previous scars that engraved his wrist under his fingertips. He missed the small freckles that he was always trying to hide. He missed being able to hear him call his name.

Josh didn't dare look at the mirror in fear he might see the monster he had become.
The bags under his eyes caused by sleep deprivation might as well be stained there.

Three years later

Three years
Josh Dun had managed to survive three whole years without tyler Joseph. Sure maybe some blades would sometimes help along the way but it was sort of therapeutic for josh. It allowed home to vent to himself.

Josh William dun was on his way to see his boyfriend. They had been together for a year and a half. His name was Mathew.he walked in to where he had planned his date with Mathew

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J O S H

I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I was 20 minutes early and he said he was already here getting a drink.

That was it. That was the moment that everything he had built to keep himself stable would come crashing down and josh would go with it.

Mathew was making out with another guy.
Tears threatened to climb up my eyes and there was something in my thought that stopped any words to come out. Just silent sobs. 

A/N so I have no chapter name ideas also I'm really lazy, but I have an idea for a story. Idk if I should add smite yet but it would help me a lot if you could tell me if you want to read absolutely horrible smut. Also I will start giving shoutout to deserving people at the end of each chapter but no asking for a shoutout. So today I have a fellow writer that I have been reading. She is SO GOOD AT WRITING it is incredible the talent she has and her name is ssookyangelo so go check her out