FLESH covered LIES

The Ocean of Nostalgia

When I found out we were moving, my emotions were completely mixed. We had lived here ever since I was born. It was a small 3 bedroom flat, with me, my brother Tyler and my parents. I was emotionally attached to it of course, I had grown up in these rooms, crawled about in them, and was even born in the living room. I remembered countless arguments with a 5 year old Tyler, while I was just 10, fighting over toy tractors and teddies.

 When Mum broke the moving news to me, I even felt a couple of twangs of nostalgia. 

But that was all gone now. Dad was regularly away on business trips, Mum was flustered after Tyler's recent school problems, and I mostly liked to hide away in my room, away from anything that would disturb my writing. Those days, it wasn't just my escape, it was my life. Every word I wrote got me away from my own problems; it helped me so much to create someone else's and deal with them instead. You could call it an obsession. I had barely any other hobbies, as I felt it was one of the only things that I could really do well. 

My social anxiety wasn't really something I could talk about to my family. I guess I didn't have it too bad. There are some kids in the world that can't leave the house without breaking down, for me it was just an irritation, like an itchy part of your back that you can't quite reach. But still, with the hustle and bustle of my home, there was barely a chance to get a word in edge ways. Tyler had started showing signs of excessive violence and anger problems, just before my anxiety began to show through, so Mum was always preoccupied making sure he wasn't getting into any trouble at school. In the end, he ended up moving schools 3 times before he even made it to Secondary school. Yet even though he took all of Mum's attention, and seemed like a violent, wild, spoilt brat, I don't think I have loved anyone more.

So yeah, I felt like moving would definitely bring us together as a family much more. We were going to a slightly more remote part of the country, only a couple of hours away from where we were now. Granddad's will was finally accessible to our family, and Mum hadn't hesitated to put it to good use. This was a chance for Tyler to find a suitable school that his bad reputation wouldn't have spread to, Dad would have closer business opportunities, and I would have a lot more inspiration for my writing. Sounds great? Here's the catch.

I wasn't going to go to go to my college anymore. And that was my life. Every night, I could sleep only because of the thought of spending another day in that enclosed and safe room, with people I could talk to, a happy place where I could be who I truly was. And I didn't know if I could sacrifice that for this new house. But it wasn't like I had a choice was it? We were scheduled to move in just 2 months after Mum let me know the "good" news. 

And, within the blink of an eye, my last English period was here, and I was staring blankly at my laptop screen, almost waiting for the best thing in my life to be over. The familiar ticking of the clock was echoing in my ears, reminding me of every painful second that passed. It took me a while to realise that Mr Sed was standing over me, a frown on his face. Looking up I pushed my slightly greasy hair behind one ear and forced a smile up at him. 

"We're going to miss you Gerda, we are going to miss you very much" he looked at me glumly, reading my expression.
"Me too" I answered and my voice cracked a little as I spoke, betraying my fake positivity. 
"You and your family will always be welcome to visit, you know that?" and he positioned himself on the edge of my desk as he always did. I smiled and nodded,
"And can I email for advice?" 
"Always." 
The tears in my eyes seemed to distort everything, I was sure I saw Mr Sed's eyes glow with almost anger, but as I wiped them away, it was gone. Another example of where my anxiety wanted to take over my every move.

I nodded again in thanks, just as the college bell sounded, and without realising it, I was leaving the last place I could ever truly feel content.

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Thanks for reading the second Chapter. Just so everyone knows, this will be the average length of each part, please give me any feedback on length of parts if you feel I should change the length I write them to :D

Any other comments welcome

MeatyFrog 

xox