Into You (Under Edit)

Confession

A/N: Hey you guys! This is a trigger warning. This chapter and the following few chapters are very dark and contain some very mature content. Please beware there are triggers in this chapter. Read with caution!

I love you....

His voice was ringing in my ears, I couldn't breath. I never, ever, ever expected to hear that. Not from Jumin, not ever.

Why was everything moving so fast? My head was dizzy... Or was that the wine? I couldn't tell.

But things were moving fast, I was sure of that. In three months I had found myself in the middle of a love triangle, with one side being my boss and the other a friend of his....

God, am I that person now? Am I the kind of girl that breaks up a friendship? Was I breaking up their friendship? I sighed as a wave of guilt washed over me.

And there was the fact that I couldn't choose between them, even thinking about it hurt me. How do you choose between two halves of your heart?

They both had such a powerful hold over me, it made no sense.

I barely knew Seven yet it felt like I had known him my entire life. He was so sweet and warm, he made me smile. Last night had felt so right, but why was I now feeling like it was wrong?

And Mr. Han.... oh, Jumin...I never thought he'd return my feelings, or feel anything for me at all. I always knew he was capable of love but for me? I never thought it was possible. I had fully convinced myself it was just sex for him until he dropped that bomb on me. Jumin had a way of making me come apart, of making me open up. I felt safe with him, but crazy at the same time. He drove me insane with his guarded emotions, I just wanted to see what he was hiding, what he was thinking...Maybe he'll let me now?

....I really am selfish...

I sighed heavily as another wave of guilt crashed over my subconscious. I stared at the night sky, wondering if God was punishing me for being so loose with myself.

"Hey, why are you crying?" I heard a familiar voice call out to me, drawing my attention back to Earth.

"Huh?" I mumbled, looking towards the voice. I titled my head a little in surprise.

Oh, it's Saeren.

I touched my face and felt that it was moist. I had been crying without realizing it? I really needed to stop drinking.

"I got something in my eye, ha. What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to dodge the question. I didn't want nor need to explain my situation at the moment. I don't think I could have anyway, not without completely breaking down.

I had just started walking towards Jumin's penthouse, it wasn't terribly far from my own apartment. Maybe he was coming to visit?

He gave me an understanding smile and shrugged a little, but there was something behind his eyes... What was that look? And why do those eyes seem so familiar?

Why does he feel so familiar to me?

"I don't know really... I guess maybe I was going to stop by and say merry Christmas?" He replied in a quiet tone, looking away for a minute. I nodded and tried to shake away the fog that was forming in my head.

I thought walking would help me sober up, but I was starting to regret ignoring Jumin's offer to send a car.

"Are you drunk?" He suddenly asked, probably because it was easy to tell. I shook my head to say no but ended up swaying a little, he reached out and caught me before I could tall.