Prayers For Andrew

Three ~Andrew

Fifth period dragged, sixth hour was hell, and finally, here I am in gym locker rooms with these stupid smelly football players, waiting eagerly for the bell to ring so I can go home.

One of the football players sat next to me and put his arms around my shoulder. I glanced over at him as he looked over at me. "So, dude. I hardly ever talk to you...what's your name, man?" This act I knew too far. I pushed his arm off of me, and stood up. "It''s none of your business." The guy looked hurt. "Aw, come on man....I was just wondering. Who is that girl you always sit with? The chick with the blue hair?"

"Cassidy Cross. Why? You'd never date her anyways. And, If you did, you wouldn't get much out of her."

"Why's that?"

"She hardly dates."

"No I ment by the 'you'd never date her anyways' part." I studied him head to toe. He had brown hair with amber eyes. He was slightly tan and had a good build. I cleared my throat before speaking, "Think about it, Cassidy is basically not one of your social friends. You avoid us. Plus your a football player. From what I seen, football players don't date our type."

"And what type is that?"

"Your social outcasts." Before the guy could speak, the final bell rang and I made my way out of the locker room.

I was by my locker when Maria walked up. "Why don't you want to hang with me this weekend?"

I sighed. "You want the truth?"

"Yes, I would appreciate that."

"I don't like to hang out with you one on one because your too loud, Maria. Plus you get in trouble too much because you run your mouth too much." I could feel Maria staring at me. I turned to her to find her literally with tears in her eyes, and her mouth open. Instantly I felt guilty for what I said. "Maria, don't cry. I..."  Maria just held up a hand to silence me. "I thought you guys were nice enough to take me under your wing since no one here will. I guess I was wrong about you and Cassidy, though I can't say much about Cassidy since she's a major bitch to me all the time." Maria took one last look at me, then walked away with her head down.

After getting all my stuff from my locker, I walked out the front doors to meet Cassidy at our usually place; The little kid playground we like to hang out at after school. It's the best way to avoid my Dad after he's got home from work.

Cassidy was leaning against the monkey bars, fiddling with her Mp3 player. I could hear her softly cursing. I walked up and she glanced back at me. "Hey, DrewBear. Help me out with this thing, my headphones aren't working."

"If their not working then their probably dead." I said miserably. Cassidy's eyebrows raised at my tone of voice. "What's up? Lost your favorite pair of underwear again?" I cracked a smile. Cassidy always knew how to make me laugh or smile. "Nah, I just friggin made Maria depressed." Cassidy had a questioning look in her eyes, so before she could ask I went ahead and explained. "When I got to my locker, Maria came up and asked me why I never hang out with her but I always hang out with you. I told her the truth."

"And the truth was?"

"I can't stand her because she's too loud and gets in trouble all the time for her mouth."

"I see. That can make her depressed. But, I have to admit, she needed to hear that. Maybe she'll start learning to control her talking." I shrugged and threw my bag onto the mulch, then sat down on the edge next to Cassidy. "I never ment to hurt Maria. But she wanted the truth, so I told her. I don't know why I feel so horrible about it." Cassidy sat down next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. I looked up, and when I did. I saw him. The new transferred student.

I stared over at him, watch his every hypontizing move; The way he walks, running his fingers through his blonde hair, and how he smiles. His smile lit up his face. I don't know why, ever since he transferred to our school last Friday, I've been completely drawn to him by this invisible force. I've never felt this way towards anybody.

Ever.

Cassidy pulled on my ear. "Andrew, your day dreaming again. Snap out of it." I looked over at her, unsure whether or not I should tell her about my sudden attraction towards the new student. But, I couldn't. She would disown me. Cassidy would think I was some kind of mental freak since I'm morely attracted to men.

Truth is, I've only dated one girl. It was back in eighth grade. Her name was Susan. She was pretty and had cute eyes. But, being with a girl never felt right. Even just with her. But being around Cassidy or Maria was a different story. I saw them as my trustworthy sisters. Who I could turn to for anything.

But for this? Ah, NO. I don't want to lose them, or have Maria telling the whole school about my worse fear...

I think I'm gay.