I Don't Want You to Go -- (VLD)

Empty Rooms

Lance shivered under the covers, trying to dislodge the slowly building anxiety that he had come to expect. He had never really liked his room in the castle, it was cold and entirely too sterile. But now it wasn't the room itself that was bothering him. It was the lack of people within it.

Ever since the castle went nuts on them, Lance had avoided being alone if he could help it. He shuddered to think what would have happened if Keith hadn't of been there. If he had arrived a second later, if Lance had already been sucked out of the airlock. He would have died, alone in space.

The others would never have known what had happened to him. He would never see his family again, never tell them that he loved them. Tears silently dripped down his face, and Lance didn't bother wiping them away. He rather thought he deserved a good cry.

He didn't sleep that night, choosing instead to listen intently to the muffled breathing coming from the room next door.

Lance stared in the mirror, frowning at the slight bluish tinge underneath his eyes. He sighed, going through his usual routine. He was fine really, he would get over it. He stared at his unmade bed before shrugging half-heartedly as he left the room, shutting off the lights as he went.

He walked into the kitchen to see Shiro and Hunk already up and seated around the kitchen table. Lance slipped in, shouting an enthusiastic greeting.

"Good morning, Lance" Shiro greeted, Hunk giving a wave as he kept his eyes on a whirly thing that had some sort of goo in it.

"You're up early." Shiro noted, Lance smiled and prayed to the heavens that Shiro wouldn't notice the slight bags under his eyes.

"Excited for the day, man! Training and what-not" Lance said a little too sarcastically. Shiro just smiled at him, turning back to watching Hunk cook what Lance assumed would eventually be their breakfast.

By lunchtime, Lance felt heaps better. Training had gone well, and Shiro had even complimented him on his improvement in hand-to-hand combat. It wasn't until he once again retired to his room that the anxious feeling returned. 

After several hours of useless tossing and turning he gave up and made his way to the control room. Coran was already there, and Lance gave him a half-true excuse of homesickness and spent the night reminiscing with his odd space-uncle like figure.

He didn't bother returning to his room the next day. Instead joining a disgruntled Pidge in her lab for a few hours before joining Keith for a morning workout.

They had a free day during the week. Normally the phrase would send Lance running back to his bedroom, head already doing a mental stocktake of what products he could use to pamper himself. Today it just made his heart sink. 

He didn't want to go back to his room. He couldn't deal with it by himself, but he didn't want to bother his teammates. His training had suffered from his lack of sleep, and he knew that they were annoyed with him. Nobody had said it to him outright but he knew it to be the truth.

He found himself sitting with Blue, trying to immerse himself in her calm. But it wasn't working, and the hanger door lurked in the distance, easily opened with a simple press of a button. He felt electricity shoot down his spine and he jumped up, with a quick apology to Blue he raced from the room.

He ended up on the bridge, trying to calm his heart as space threatened to close in around him. He wasn't sure when his legs had stopped supporting him, but he was sitting now, arms circling his knees as he tried to keep the fear and panic at bay.

His heart pounded in he felt his chest tightening. He needed to find the others, he couldn't deal with this on his own. He forced himself into a standing position, sprinting as fast as he could to the lounge. The only one there was Pidge.

He sighed in relief and collapsed at her feet.

"Lance!" Pidge shouted in fright, dropping to her knees beside him. Lance merely clutched at his own chest, trying desperately to calm his erratic breathing.

Pidge strained to lift him on to the couch, managing to prop him there as she went to find Shiro. She began to walk away when a hand shot out to grab hers.

"Please!" Lance begged, eyes glistening with barely restrained tears, "I don't want you to go."

Pidge hesitated, torn between calling for the help Lance needed and staying with the obviously distraught boy. Luck seemed to be on her side as Keith stepped into the room, sweaty and gross from his training session.

"Keith! I need you to get help!" Pidge pleaded, trying to coach Lance in breathing. Keith seemed shocked for a moment, staring at the anguished Lance that was shaking with both sobs and fear. Steeling himself, he ran from the room.

Pidge dropped to her knees again.

"Lance, what's wrong, what can I do to help you?" Pidge said a little shakily. She didn't know what was happening, and by the sound of it neither did Lance. Lance buried his face in her shoulder and she rubbed gentle circles in his back as he cried.

Keith returned with the rest of the team and Hunk immediately sprang forward to relieve Pidge.

"Lance, buddy, it's okay, we're here." Hunk consoled. Lance latched on to him, breathing less forced as he began to calm down through the combined efforts of his Garrison team mates. Even when he calmed down, he still held tight to Hunk.

"Lance;" Allura began, not entirely sure what she was going to say. Luckily, Shiro came to her rescue.

"Team, sit down" Shiro ordered and everybody sat in a circle. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge still cuddled up to each other, the green and yellow paladins supplying the support that the blue desperately needed.

"Shiro, what is wrong with Lance?" Allura asked confused as she seated herself upon the couch.

"What Lance just had is called a panic attack, it happens when the mind is under a lot of stress. Usually because of a perceived danger." Shiro explained. Hunk looked down at Lance, wondering what had sent him into that state.

"We called that something else." Coran mused, but offered no term. Allura nodded along.

"He said that he didn't want to be alone" Pidge said, squeezing Lance's hand to reassure him that she was still there.

"He was fine with being alone before?" Allura said, confused as to what could have happened to their blue paladin.

"I- if Keith wasn't there-" Lance mumbled into Hunks shoulder. Hunk relayed this information to the others. The team seemed confused and looked to Keith for answers.

"The Galra crystal." Keith said quietly, realising exactly what his rival was scared of. "The Castle A.I. nearly shot him out the airlock."

If he hadn't been there, if he had arrived one second later. Lance would have died, and it would have taken them ages to discover his death. Keith felt a tingle of fear at the thought. He understood, he really did.

"He. . .  could have died." Shiro realised, Galra hand clenching into a tight fist.

"Lance, I promise you, I will always be there when you need me" Hunk said, tilting Lance's head so that they were looking into each other's eyes. He turned Lance to face the others, so he could see everyone's genuine worry for him.

"We all will." Shiro added.

And Lance believed them.