basically, the past week has been hell for me. i am in constant pain and my confidence said goodbye and has not returned yet. i've been sick at home two days of this week and now it's 09:38am and i'm not at school, because, again, i am in pain and i'm just gonna be there for my english exam today.
i've kinda hit another low and god, i really don't want to make all these self-loathing comments, but i can't help it sometimes. and that annoys me. i've just been feeling like shit, because i feel like i'm just that dumb, annoying girl to everyone i know that they hang out with because they'd feel bad if i'd end up being left out or something. like, i know that this is not true, but i can't stop these thoughts and that fucking bothers me.
i really don't feel like talking to anyone at the moment, but i'm still kinda forcing myself to do it, because i don't want my friends to worry about me ((((even though my subconscious keeps telling me that theres no one who'd ever be worried about me)))) and it's going pretty well, which is a good thing. kinda takes my mind off of the fact that i hate myself.
YOU ARE READING
ricarda vs the world
Randomjoin me for the next episode of "how many cynical comments about suicide and depression can ricarda make until someone asks if she's okay"
