Out Of Place

One Last Time

Benjamin

I see Hailey 3 more times this week but she doesn't speak to me. I'll say hi but she will just smile and hurry on past.
At least she acknowledges me, that's a good thing right? I think to myself.
I'm currently working at the record shop, it's only across the street from Avery College and a 5 minute walk from my house.
I'm leaning against the counter with my chin resting on my fist when from the corner of my eye I see a familiar girl walk as if she's coming past the shop but she notices me and turns back around.
Hailey?
I run outside and see her only a short distance away.
"Hailey" I cup my hands around my mouth and shout. She turns around and smiles, by this time I'm caught up "were you going to come in?"
"Um, yeah" I see her ears turn a deep red which sets my stomach on fire.
"Why did you run away?" I take a step towards the shop and she hesitates but follows after a second of contemplation.
"I-socialising out of school is...awkward for me"
"It is?" I ask, all I get back is a nod. We have reach the shop and she turns to hurry away over to the records. "Are you looking for anything in particular?"
"No. Um, thanks" and that's the end of our conversation.
-
20 minutes later Hailey is walking towards me.
My stomach is flipping.
My heart is pounding.
My palms are sweating.
"You get everything?" She holds up a Beyoncé record and for a minute I'm shocked. "Is that for you or a friend?"
"Both." I tilt my head "my roommate has a record player but she has records I don't listen to. She's letting me use it when she's not in our room so I needed some music that I could listen to. I will give her this when we have to..."
"Seperate?" I put in.
Hailey coughs. "Yeah"
A smirk spreads across my lips when she coughs, she gets so nervous around other people it actually makes me like being around her.
I scan the record and $25 shows on the screen.
"That will be twenty five bucks today please" she fishes inside her purse for what I guess is her wallet "in fact, make that fifteen, friend discount. But please don't tell my dad, he'll kill me"
"No, it's okay. I can pay the twenty five" she hands me over the full amount.
"I insist." She rolls her eyes but hands me over $15 and I put it in the cashier. "Here's your receipt"
"Thanks, um, I guess I'll see you around. Around sch-college. Or in Latin" she walks quickly out of the door before I can even open my mouth.
I open the cashier and take out $15. Mental note: sneakily give Hailey it back. And I put $25 of my own money in.
-
Tuesday.
The best day of the week because it's study day with Hailey.
I sit beside Hailey but as always she doesn't notice because she is so engrossed in Professor Kaz.
Hailey spends the whole two hours with her head down and her fingers upon her keyboard. I watch her most of the time. I know it sounds creepy but I just love the way her fingers move so swiftly over each button and the way her oriental brown eyes flick up towards the Professor every few minutes.
Before I know it everyone is rustling around and Hailey is closing her laptop so I pack my things away in my backpack and walk towards to exit.
"Hi" Hailey is catching up with me so I slow my pace and wait on her. "Are we, um, studying in the library again today?"
"Unless you're busy?" I hope not.
"I'm not. I just, um, wasn't sure if you were busy or not busy because if you were busy you obviously can't make it but if you weren't busy then-"
"I'm not busy" I laugh loudly and get her sleeve and pull her with me out of the swarm of people that is trying to cram out of the lecture hall.
We're walking down the hall towards the library when I notice Hailey is walking strangely, it's like she's quietly stomping.
"Why are you walking like that?" I can feel a smirk on my face but she trips and I instantly shoot forward to catch her. "Easy there"
"I'm so sorry" I'm basically holding her up right but she manages to get herself on both of her own feet and she wipes her hands on her cardigan "I have some stuff going on, I wasn't looking where I was going"
"Look, it's okay. We don't have to study today, you can go and deal with whatever's up, or rest, or dance to your new record" she laughs but shakes her head.
"No, it's okay I will still study with you, unless you don't want me to in case I almost break you in half again"
It was my turn to laugh now "of course I want to, I will always want to"
I can swear I see her turn red.
-
Do you ever wonder what goes on in other people's lives?
You wonder what they're thinking, how they're feeling and what they're doing when they're on their phone or laptop.
Hailey's fingers are moving rapidly over the keyboard of her laptop again and although the clicking isn't distracting, Hailey is distracting. She looks so at peace and in her element sitting in front of her laptop with whatever she's doing.
Her eyebrows are narrowed together and her forehead is slightly wrinkled, her tongue is also just peering in between her lips in concentration.
"What are you doing?" Hailey doesn't seem to hear me so I clear my throat.
"Huh?" She asks not looking up from the screen, fingers still rapidly tapping the buttons.
"I asked you what you were doing"
"I'm just needing to finish this-this" she groans in frustration "what's the word to describe when something is really powerful and sometimes you use it for flavors?"
"Intense?"
"No" she shakes her head and places her head in her hands.
"Potent?" She throws her hands in the air and claps.
"That's it! Benjamin, you're like a walking, talking thesaurus" she looks back at her laptop and continues typing.
"I would prefer it if you called me Ben and not my full name, only my mom calls me Benjamin" Hailey nods her head "what's this?"
"This?" Hailey asks confused.
"You said 'I'm needing to finish this'" She looks at me then and rubs her hands together almost nervously.
"It's just something I'm working on" I nod "I've been working on it for a while"
"Is it like a book or something because you're typing like crazy?"
"Something like that" Hailey shrugs like it's nothing but the way she is rubbing her hands together like she is washing them tells me otherwise.
"You're writing a book?" This is the coolest thing ever, I'm friends with a girl who is writing a book. I'm friends with an author.
"I guess, I've written one before. This is my second, it's a sequel to the previous one" she smiles and I beam back at her.
"That's awesome! Can I read it?" The smile slips from her face.
"It's not ready yet, I mean, I'm not ready yet. Both. I-my book is kind of personal, no-one has read it before" red seeps into her cheeks and I instantly feel guilty.
"You don't need to let me. I understand. It's cool that you're writing a book though" I smile and nudge my knee against hers "your second book"
She laughs, a beautiful, sweet noise and I remember that I was going to get her cell number.
To arrange study sessions of course.
"Give me your cell" I put my hand on the table, palm up.
"What?" She backs away a little, I roll my eyes.
"Just give me your cell, I'm not going to do anything" I close then open my hand, telling her to hurry up.
"What are you going to do?" She puts her hand in the pocket of her cardigan but leaves it there.
"Just. Give. Me. Your. Cell" she groans but takes it out of her pocket and places it in my hand. Our fingers touch slightly which sends waves of sparks through my body and I want it to stay there but her fingers leave mine as fast as they met.
I put my number in her contacts, putting my name under Ben and I call my own cell from hers.
"There, I have your number and you have mine" I hand her back her cell and she takes it cautiously.
"Is that how guys get girls now? By forcing them to hand over their cells?" I laugh through my nose and look at her. When am I not?
"Is that what you want? Me to get you?" Because I want to get you, I silently add.
"No, I mean yes. I-no. I wouldn't deny it but I'm not sure what you were implying by adding my number without my consent"
"I was just getting your number so we can arrange our Latin study sessions before every Tuesday. Or should I say arrange your writing sessions and my sit-bored sessions?" She smiles meekly at me.
"Sorry, I just really wanted to finish that chapter. It was an important part" I shake my head and wave my hand.
"I just wish I could see what is so important about it" I wink at her which results in her ears turning bright red, as always, and I bark a laugh. She kicks me from under the table and I hiss in pain but we both start laughing.
-
Our study session is over and it's around 4:00pm. I have work at 4:30 which I'm too lazy to go to but dad will kill me if I don't so I explain to Hailey and she willingly packs up her laptop and walks out with me.
"You know where your room is?" I ask, it's cold outside and Hailey is shivering.
"Yes" her teeth are chittering which makes it difficult for her to speak.
"I'll still walk you to your room" I say anyway and I remove my jacket and place it on her shoulders. I'm still wearing a jumper so I'm still not too cold and I take her bag off of her and carry it.
"I'm capable of holding my own bag" she tells me with her arm held out into the cold, I push her arm down back under my jacket "and I'm also capable of providing my own body with heat"
"I know you can hold your own bag but it looked heavy and I'm being a gentleman, be grateful" I nudge her with my elbow and she glares at me from the corner of her eyes "but you looked like you were about to freeze"
"I wasn't" I nod and we fall into a comfortable silence with only the sounds of our shoes on the gravel. "Did you know our body temperature is 37 degrees Celsius?"
"Um, no. I didn't know that. Thanks for telling me though" I look at Hailey as if she's lost her mind and she looks at me with her eyes narrowed.
"You're a strange boy" I nod again.
"Thanks"
"You look like someone who sings in an indie rock band who should have sleeve tattoos and a nose piercing but you take Latin and get helped by a loner who is writing books about her rubbish past life" her eyes open more again and I can see she's lost in thought.
"You look like someone who reads and writes books all day then watches Netflix all night and studies in between" she laughs and points at me.
"You are exactly right! I mean, look at me. I wear old, granny cardigans with tees and jeans that don't make anything look good"
"Hailey?" She nods at me. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just love when it's cold out and I can breathe the crisp air. It feels good to have the cold air in your lungs and you can almost taste the frost on the grass" she takes a deep breath and I take one too.
"It does feel good." I agree, we fall into another silence and by the time it's broken we are in Hailey's building.
"What feels good to you?" She asks me and I know the answer straight away.
"Being here"
-
I've been standing at the counter for 30 minutes and only one person has came in. They didn't even buy anything so I've just been looking through the new record delivery and stacking them on the shelves when there's a vibration in my pocket.
Hailey.
My heart skips a beat when I see her name on the screen of my cellphone. I open the message apprehensively.
There is a file attached with the message: here's my first book.
I open the file and on my screen is "One Last Time by Hailey Khan" I scroll to the next page and there, in handwriting that I presume is Hailey's and has been scanned into the document somehow, is a message: Mom, you are the brightest star at night and the prettiest Cardinal at morning. I wish I can see you just one last time, your Hailey.
I sit down on the stool behind the counter, deserting the boxes of records and I continue scrolling through every page of Hailey's book and I don't put it down until I have finished it.

Author's Note
Hi everyone, sorry for the lack of chapters for the past few days, I have been so busy with work and school that I have had no time to write. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter although I'm not too happy about it but I will just publish it now and edit it later. You got an insight on Ben's feelings for Hailey are and I really enjoyed writing in his POV, it was quite difficult though. I will hopefully have a new chapter up soon, thanks for reading!
QotC: What do you think Hailey's first book is about?