All I Want Is You

Out In The Open

Taylor

There was a loud knock on my door a few minutes after I had burst in and thrown myself on the bed and had a pity party for one.

And if I had thought for one moment my friends would come trailing into my room with sheepish looks on their faces, before they apologized for their behaviour for not telling me, then I was so far off base it was unreal.

Opening the door expecting some sorrowful looking faces, I was literally bodily pick up and transported backwards into the room and unceremoniously dumped on the bed and before I could utter a sound, Kelsey layed into me.

"What the fucks a matter with you" she practically yelled at me.

"Okay I understand that he did the dirty on you, fucked you and left, so he made a mistake big deal, but now he's trying to rectify it, sure when he came to see us, we gave him hell about treating our best friend the way he did"

By now all tempers were cooling down a bit and the volume was going from mind blowingly loud and harsh to mellow and quiet.

"Look Tay, I know it's hard to forgive and forget, especially after what happened to you when he was gone, but you've got to realise, even if he had stayed there was no guarantee he would have been there to stop the attack on you"

Kelsey let out a deep sigh and continued.

"Tay the guy was practically in tears and on bended knees when he came to us and believe me we let him know how we felt and he stood there and took it, everything we threw at him and he agreed whole heartedly that he had acted totally like a douche, then he told us how he felt about you and that he was willing to do anything to get you back to take another chance on him and I have never seen a man so sincere in his arguments, that's why we decided to do this for him, for you, Tay we think you should give him another chance"

Then there was a deathly silence as the words sunk in.

My little voice started in my head.

Go on then now's the time, tell em, tell em what he did to you, how he robs you of your money, of your memory, hell even two years of your life, explain to them how you and your family are struggling to make ends meet, go on they are your best friends you can tell them, then they will side with you against him.

I sat there mulling everything over, until my little voice started again.

Well are you going to tell them? Of course you're not, you can't tell them, the same as you couldn't​ tell your​ parents, because if you do it will destroy him and his career, but he destroyed your life and that of your family then why not exact revenge, let him suffer like you suffered, it will only take a minute, open your mouth and tell them, go on I dare you.

I sat there in turmoil, oh what do I do for the best.

Sod the best do what's right, drop him in it, finish him now and move on.

I could feel my friends eyes fixed on me, shit! They were waiting for me to say something.

"Um look I'm sorry for what I said about hating you, I didn't mean it, it was just I was so shocked, please forgive me, I don't want to lose you as my friends"

"Best friends" Elise added "And if you think we would cut you lose for what you said in the heat of the moment you are very much mistakem Miss Deveroeux, you don't get rid of your besties that easily, I can tell you"

And the others nodded in agreement, bringing tears to my eyes.

"But" Kelsey stated in a serious tone "What about Chase?"

Oh boy back to the inner turmoil.

"I don't know, I'm not sure I can"

Coward tell them, what a bastard he is.

"Why not, go on Tay what have you got to lose, give him another chance and if he fucks it up, we will personally dispose of his body" Tanya said.

Tell them for christ sake get it out in the open, now!

"I don't know" I added weakly.

"Why the hell not, come on Tay try, not just for him but both of you" Elise pleaded.

They were all ganging up on me, trying to break down my walls.

You will never have a better opportunity than this to tell them, but do you know what? you won't, why? Because you know you are in love with him that's why you can't say anything, because you goddamn love him, you always have that's why you haven't said anything, that's why you never will, YOU. LOVE. HIM!

My eyes went wide as realisation set in, was it true? Did I really love him, Was I still in love with Declan? Is that why I hadn't told anyone? OMG! that little bit of my heart he had always owned was now a much larger chunk of my heart and it had taken all this to make me see it.

I couldn't help a small smile creep over my face.

"Does that mean you are going to give him a second chance" Kelsey asked warily.

"Yes I am" I spoke with confidence.

"You are right life's to short to hold grudges, it's time to try forgiving and forgetting, I will give him another chance"

And before my friends could holler and scream I added.

"That's not to say I'm in love with him, just that you've convinced me to give him another chance okay?"

"Okay" yelled Elise as they all squealed and leapt up from there seats to surround and hug me.

"You wait and see Tay, you won't be sorry, you and Chase are make for each other"

I smiled, but deep down I still wasn't a hundred percent sure, loving him that would be easy, trusting him now that would be hard and until I could do that, I couldn't say the words out loud.

He had betrayed me once, big time, what's to say he wouldn't ​do it again and would I be strong enough to survive a second time?

Only one way to find out.