by ; the black hole & jupiter
He was the moon
I was the blackhole
He didn't know, that in my life
That he was about to play a role
Over exaggeration aside,
I was still a wave among the tides
His name was in my head
But mine was just unfamiliar and unsaid.
Time was moving
A shadow left me scarred
Time never stopped
Reminding myself how life is a flop
I remind myself ; it's temporary.
In teenage years, this is ordinary
I was healing, I was doing fine.
Besides, there are better things to do than just pine.
In corridors, his shine never left
He made me haywired i confess
But I didn't want to go through it again
The rejection and the hurt that will never fade.
Fate intervened.
I couldn't escape
She knew him, they are friends
She talks about him, they are friends.
She asked about him
We're not friends.
Something important was at stake
An exam that would determine success or fail.
Distractions had to be thrown aside,
Before life showed me it's downside
It was a mistake
A slip of the name was made
She knew how I felt, my feelings were at stake
I hope she wouldn't tell anyone but I was played.
After months, hi's were exchanged.
After months, I knew what his voice was like
After months, I knew how his laugh sounded
After months, a feeling that grew became stronger.
This pale colourless existence i have in my palms,
Is it just a feeling or is it a bond?
Is it the idea or the being that made me fall,
Fall into this stupid kind of despair
We started as friends,
Although feelings were tangled together
He was so close
And yet so far
The impossible became possible
This creature filled a void,
Was it a rebound,
Or was i really cured?
Everytime it speaks,
The contradicting ecstasy and envy meet.
Though that voice caused remorse,
I still can't get it out of my head.
Happiness was already in reach
I almost caught it
It was almost tangible
But i was weak.
But thank you creature,
For this intrepid chapter.
Though it wasn't always mirthful,
It had still made me feel.
I've come with a verdict,
To bring down the curtains.
I've now finally realised,
This anguish,
Was a bliss in disguise.
After months, a shadow reappeared
After months, a shadow reminded me
How life wasn't okay without it
The shadow that broke me
The shadow that made my resolve crumble
The shadow that was still trying
And I caved
I broke a heart that for months I craved
He said it was fine
But now we're strangers again.
When we talk, you can hear the tension
You can feel the strain
We were never meant to be friends
It's like our history was erased.
My ceiling was a friend
I often confide in
And the ceiling knows
What I've realised after the crash of the moon in my life
This moon I sought after, he wasn't funny.
He didn't laugh at my jokes. No.
He was void of all emotion
Our chemistry was non existent
The ceiling also knows
About that time i saw colours in grey
When black and white became
Red, purple and yellow again
You were the rainbow that came after the rain
You make me feel whole again
And I hope to god i won't break
Because im running out of band aids
You were the star that made light
pour into my dark life
this doesn't have to be requited
It just has to be felt
and it has to be shown
The moon made me go through the pain
The shadow made me ache
But you, my colourful rainbow
my sparkling star
made me smile
You laugh at my jokes
Your voice is ecstasy that I hope never runs out
The way you need me is a feeling I've never knew existed
This failure of development
Though,
Is like a whole new Big Bang.
Which gravitated these beautiful planets together.
Complemented the solar system,
And completed my universe.
I was finally looking beyond the ceiling,
To a galaxy of stars,
Brought right before me.
You are the star, I am the black hole.
We're playing these two roles
In a continuous orbit around the planets
And I know where this leads.
But I'm still here,
a black hole.
Waiting for the star to fall into it.
