Breaking Free

Chapter 10

"I came as soon as I heard," doctor Fae utters as she quickly climbs out of her car. It's been an hour since I discovered Charcoal in his stall, and it has been the longest hour of my life.

We lead the vet to his stall, wasting no time at all. I don't pay attention to what she is doing, I just stroke Charcoals head, whispering encouragement to him.

After an eternity the vet stands to her feet.

"I regret to say that he has one of the worst forms of colic. To make it as simple as I can, his small intestine flipped. Horses almost never survive this," she gravely states.

"No," I mutter tearfully. "No! You're lying. You're lying!"

At this point, my words are loud and inaudible. I collapse back to the floor and hug Charcoal's head. The only understandable word I say is 'no.'

Carter falls to his knees at Charcoal's side, and runs his hand over the horse. He's fighting back tears for my sake, but I can see that he's dying inside.

"Is there anything we can do?" he asks.

"If it were any other form of colic, I'd say to try and make him walk. If you want to, you can try but the fact of the matter is that the chances if it working are next to none and you would most likely just make his last moments miserable. I suggest making him comfortable so he can die in peace," the vet honestly replies, her voice tired.

"Get up," I quietly whisper.

"What?" Carter questions. But I wasn't talking to him.

"Get up," I yell, grabbing Charcoals halter and pulling upward. "Get up, get up, get up!"

My voice is nothing but a sob as I repeat the same thing to no avail.

"Taylor, it's useless," Carter snaps, grasping my hand. I limply let go, and fall to my knees at Charcoal's side. Carter falls with me, never letting go of my hand.

And although he's been trying so, so hard to hold back for me, he can't help letting the tears that have been welling up in his eyes the last two hours free.

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Charcoal died on Saturday morning after an agonizingly long night. We say with him, and stroked him so he was calm, and once the light in his eyes dulled we cried over him.

But nevertheless, Charcoal died on Saturday morning. A neighbor helped Mr. Stone to dig a grave on the hillside near the pasture where the gelding loved to graze.

He had a good, long life, but I can't stand the thought that he won't be there when I go out to the barn. I can't bear the weight on my heart that aches without him.

You never forget your first horse.

I'll hold him in my heart till the day I die, and one day, if I'm lucky, I'll see him again.

But until then- I don't know what I'll do.

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"Taylor, they've buried him if you'd like to go to his grave," Mrs. Stone whispers with tired eyes. She's clutching a cup of coffee as if it is the only thing keeping her here.

I'm curled up in the fetal position in the center of my bed- I've been this way since the vet pronounced him dead. Every few minutes, I'll burst into tears, but I won't move.

"You can't stay like this forever," Mrs. Stone murmurs, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"The hell I can," I object, burying my face into the mattress.

"Taylor I know you're hurting- but Carter is too. Charcoal was his horse, too," she whispers in between sniffles.

Carter. I haven't thought of Carter since- since it happened.

Oh, what a selfish fool I've been. She's right, we all need to stick together.

Despite my cramped back and my sore muscles and the tears I feel welling up in my eyes, I stand up.

"Where is he?"

"He's in the field, at the grave. You can't miss it," she mutters, though I can't see her face.

I walk swiftly down the stairs, and go as fast as my weary legs can take me without flying off.

I stop into the tack room before going to see the grave, and snatch an item off of a hook.

As I draw near to Charcoals grave, I take in the scenery. They buried him beneath an apple tree, who's fruits are fully grown. The pile of freshly upturned Earth that Charcoal lies beneath is barren- no headstone or flowers for the wound is still to fresh. To decorate would be to acknowledge that he's really gone, and it doesn't seem as if anyone is ready to do that yet.

I crouch down beside Carter, and tentatively grab his hand. With my other hand, I place down to the item that I got from the tack room in Charcoal's bare grave- the lead rope I gave Carter the day Charcoal became his. The same lead he returned to me when I left with Ezhno. The lead rope I am now giving to Charcoal who lies still beneath the dark brown earth.

Carter wraps his arm around my waist, and I bury my head in his shoulder. We sit silently on the cold earthen ground for an immeasurable time. It could be seconds, minutes or hours. But we don't cry. We just sit in silence over the grave of a horse that touched our lives in ways we could never had imagined.

After all, if it weren't for Charcoal, I'd never have agreed to meet him. This entire journey never would have happened.

An apples falls from the tree, and lands directly in the center of the earthen pile that signifies the grave. And despite ourselves- despite the fact that the world is closing in around us- we laugh.


A/N

By far one of the saddest chapters I've ever written. I was literally in the brink of tears the whole time I wrote this chapter.

Please no hate- remember everything happens for a reason!

And I didn't have time to edit so if you catch anything please tell me