Goode Knows

Chapter 27

Percy POV-
"If I tell you what happened, you have to promise me not to tell anyone unless I say you can." I said.

He looked reluctant, but nodded anyway.

"I would tell you to swear on the river Styx, but I'm not going to put that burden on anyone." I said, "So I'm just going to have to trust you. Do you know anything about Greek Mythology?"

"Yes, I had to take a course before they let me anywhere near you." Brekker said.

"Well isn't that helpful. So, I assume you know what happens when you swear on the river Styx?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then you know I just put a lot of trust in you." He nodded. "So, what do you want to know first?"

"What happened to your face?"

"Am I really that ugly?" I stalled.

He rolled his eyes, then gave me a look that said 'Are you going to tell me or not?'.

"Fine. A few months ago, I went something so tragic, and I never had a nightmare free sleep again. The only person who could keep me from those nightmares is gone. I thought that nothing could get any worse, but last night it did. The main cause of the terrors I felt cursed me. He said that he would visit me every time I fell asleep."

"Have you tried fighting it?" Brekker asked.

I gave a hollow chuckle, and said "It's not that simple."

"That wasn't the questions. Have you tried."

"Have you ever tried fighting back while your in chains? Poison instead of air? No power or energy? Nothing left to live for? Have you ever tried fighting back when your in the place you only managed to survive because of someone that's not even there anymore? Have you ever felt what it was like to know you deserve everything bad that comes at you?" I said with a blank face. "No, you haven't."

"Percy...you don't deserve this."

"Yes, I do."

"What have you done Percy? Why do you think like this?"

"If I tried better, if I was stronger, faster, braver, I could have saved them all. No one would have to die." I said, tears falling down my face.

"Is that what you think? Percy you did the best you could possibly do."

"You weren't even there. I could have done so much more. I could have been the hero everyone thinks I am."

"The sooner you realize you couldn't have done anything, the sooner you'll be able to save yourself." Brekker said, his voice not as calm now. "Do you really think your friends will be glad to see you again if you kill yourself? They'll want the old you, not whoever you've become.

"I know they won't like me, but this is what I deserve."

"No Percy, your wrong, in so many ways."