I've been told that if you repeat a word over and over it loses its meaning. I have stayed up countless nights, repeating your name, hoping that you will mean less to me with each breath.
*Alaska POV*
That afternoon made me realize how I stubborn I have been the past few years. I can't make you love me. I can't make it you want me. I can't make you fight for me. I'm slowly realizing I need to love myself, I need to fight for myself.
Sometimes I don't want things to get better. Sometimes I want things to get really bad so I have a reason to kill myself. Sometimes I wish people didn't care, so I could kill myself without feeling bad.
Does that make me a selfish or a bad person?
I turn on the water and fill the tub. As I take off my shoes, my phone is vibrating against the granite of the bathroom counter. It's a number I've never recognized before. I answer it.
Me: Hello?
Unknown: Don't kill yourself over a boy. He'll bring another girl to your funeral. That girl will be me.
Me: Who is this?
I ask anyway even though I recognize the voice. It's Sage.
The phone hangs up but right after my phone starts ringing again. It's Alex. I power down my phone without a second thought.
*Alex POV*
Sorry this person is not available. Please leave a voicemail after the beep. Hi it's Alaska you know what to do.....beep.....
Voicemail box full.
I grab my phone and race outside to my car. I put in the keys and start driving to her house. I must make it before she does something stupid.
*Alaska POV*
I take off my shoes and socks. I let my hair down and climb in the tub. I let myself sink.
I thought I knew what real pain felt like but I didn't until I saw the way you looked at her.
"I love you," I whisper before I put my head in the water.
*Alex POV*
I'm crying. Tears are screaming down my face making it hard to see. I feel myself try to grab control of the steering wheel but I let go. I feel the car smash into a tree and everything goes dark.
Being with you was the only time I was ever truly happy.
A/N :Sorry for such a short chapter. I've been super held up with homework and studying.
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Heartstrings
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