Heartstrings

Chapter Eleven: Lost Boy

It's 11:59 pm and I love you. You are sitting next to me and I have my whole world next to me. But, in a minute when it's a new day and bits of me have been erased. I can still see the vague imprint of your face on a pillow that had once taken your place. I think I may love you more than I did just a whole minute before.

I look over and I stare at her beautiful face that I had always admired since I was eight. Every second and every minute goes by like the speed of light when I'm with her. Those seconds turn to minutes and those minutes turn to the best hours of my life.

A strand of her cascading blonde hair falls in front of her face and I tuck it behind her ear. As my hand lingers on her ear, her eyes open with surprise and I move my hand away.

 "Hey, can I tell you something Alaska?" I said as my voice stuttered just a bit. She smiles and says, "Go ahead Alex." I can't help but smile back because simply her smiles are contagious. I hope what I'm about say will make her stay with me. I won't ever let her go ever again if she chooses to stay. But, if she wants me to leave, I will disappear with the wind.

"I want you to know that I still love you and I think of you everyday. I have accepted the fact that I am not equally in your heart, but I promise to stand by you for as long you need me too, and I will be whatever you need to be, boyfriend, husband, best friend, or even just a friend or gone with the wind. As long as you keep that beautiful smile on your face that warms me within."

She gets up from her seat and said, "I don't want to let you go but, I think I have too." She turns around but, I grab her wrist. "Alaska....I love you. Isn't that enough? What am I suppose to do to make you stay?"

I watch her shoulders shake as she cries and tries to pry my grasp from her wrist but, I just hold on tighter. I yank her forward and she falls on top of me. I wrap my arms around her waist so, she doesn't run away again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually, I let go because I guess I had fallen asleep. But, she never left my side....she stayed right there cuddled up next to me. I looked over at her and I knew I was never going to be good enough for her. There would be someone waiting for her to come home.

Her two kids that she adopted and husband. I got a call earlier before she came from her husband and I could hear her children running around in the background. 

Husband: Hello, this is Alaska's husband and if you can hear we have children. I've heard a lot about you such as you were her first love. I have a favor to ask of you. Can you please just let her go with you? Please don't let her leave us. We love her so much. Also, she was just reconnected with her long lost brother, Andrew.

Me: I love her too but, you guys are much better for her. She has a family and I shouldn't take that away from her.

Husband: Thank you.

Me: I have to go there is a knock at my door.

*Call Ended*

I get up from the bed and open the window of the hospital room. I hear her sit up and say, "Morning Alex." She smiles and walks over to me. She hugs me from behind but, I don't hug her back. "It never stops hurting, does it?" I say looking out at all the cars and people in the parking lot.

 "What?" she says letting go of me. "Giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else," I say as I turn around to look at her. "What do you mean them choosing someone else?" she says in a confused tone. "You have a family, children and a husband. You need to leave and go be with them. You are not just hurting me but, your family. They are better for you and you need to be with them."

"How did you know about that? I never said I was leaving them for you. I just wanted to give some time with me before I never see you again. I don't love you like I use to when we were kids. Sage was the one who will always love you but, you left her for me," she says walking to the door and puts her hand on the door knob. 

"I never did love her like I loved you but, I made the choice to go to her because I knew the fact I would never been good enough. You have such a better life than you would have with me. So, leave and never come back," I said as I watched her open the door and walk away.