Seeking Forgiveness (Jellal x Reader)

Chapter 5

You wake up the next day feeling refreshed. Barbra made you go to bed early, despite the fact that you were supposed to be looking after her, you were thankful though. It meant you had more energy to look after her and Ultear today.

But, as you jumped out of bed and got ready with renewed energy, that you usually didn't have in the morning, a feeling a dread grew deep in your stomach. The more time went by, the more you started to feel like someone was wrong.

You only had this feeling once before, and you hope the same thing wouldn't happen. You hopped down the stairs and started making porridge for breakfast. It wasn't the greatest meal in the world, but it was warm and filling. Perfect for people that are ill and recovering.

Jellal or Meredy usually came to collect their porridge for everyone in the barn, while you saw to Barbra. The porridge, considering your early routine this morning, was done earlier. So you piled the porridge into a bowl, grabbed a spoon, and quickly darted up the stairs to give the little old lady her porridge.

You never knew why you started calling her the little old lady. She introduced herself as Barbra, but your first thoughts of her before she even opened her mouth was that she was a little old woman. She was the first person to show you kindness in a long time. And that always stayed with you.

You reached her door and knocked with one hand, while balancing the porridge in the other, the bowl pressed into your side, "Barbra," you call, but there was no answer. Immediately the feeling that had been eating at your insides all morning turned into a full blown fear. You automatically felt your pulse quicken and your hands started shaking, swallowing the lump in your throat, you mentally reassured yourself that everything was fine. "Barbra, I have your breakfast," you called out again. This time however, you didn't wait for a response as you turned the handle and opened the door.

The room was chilling, and the shaking got worse as the fear began to eat away at your nerves, "(Y/N)," a voice coughed. Your eyes were watching the bed as slowly a hand raised itself a few inches from the surface before dropping back down onto it again. You ran to the bed side and put the porridge down on the bed side table before grabbing the hand. It was cold, so cold it didn't feel real.

The blankets were up to Barbra's chin, the sheets so flat and perfect it looked like she hadn't moved all night long. Her face couldn't even be classed as pale, the skin seemingly so translucent she didn't even look like she was alive. It was then you realised something, she was practically dead, she was hanging on for dear life.

You went to stand, going to get something to help her but she squeezed your hand and held it in a tight grasp, "it's my time child," she tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace, "it's my time to go."

You started shaking, from fear or disbelief, you didn't know, "how do you know?"

"Everyone knows; I've known longer than most that my time was coming soon."

"How?" You squeak.

With sad eyes Barbra glanced down, "I should've told you sooner, and for that I will forever be sorry but I've known I was dying for some time with no cure."

You take in a shaky breath. Words could no convey how grateful you were for everything she'd done for you. And you'd never get the chance to truly show her. Leaning down you engulfed the smaller woman in a tight bear hug as your heart clenched realizing that this was the last time you'd ever be able to hug her like this again.

You pulled back to thank her, but what you saw made you stumble back, dropping her hand in the process. Falling to the ground, you landing on your bum. The bowl that the porridge was in was knocked by your elbow and crashing on the floor, a loud smashing sound echoing through the silent house. Her eyes were glassy as they stared up at the ceiling, her hand that you were holding limp by her side and a small smile gracing her features told you she knew what that hug meant to you, and to her.