I dont even know where this is going so ill just try to write something and see how it turns out :1
Troye's POV
I rolled over as my eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight. I glanced at the clock and it was 3 pm which means that I was asleep for 4 hours. I guess I must have been pretty tired after the 13 hour flight. I groaned, burying my head in the pillow thinking about how I would have to get up sooner or later but it's too cold and it's so comfortable in Tyler's bed.
I decided to go on my phone but stay in bed since the guys are probably not doing much in the living room. I grabbed my phone off Tyler's bedside table and went on Twitter. I saw a cute Tweet from Caspar with a picture of Tyler carrying me to his room. I couldn't keep the smile off my face and I wasn't surprised to see that the Tweet already had a huge amount of retweets and favourite's.
I had a look at my mentions and saw the usual 'I love you' and 'please follow me' and I replied to some of them but suddenly I stopped scrolling when I saw something unusual.
"@troyesivan is an ugly fag who looks like hes 9 years old"
"why do people even like @troyesivan he cant even sing"
"@troyesivan just kill yourself your ruining tylers reputation and he doesnt even care about you"
I can feel myself crying but I don't care. They're right. I've had depression for a long time and I used to self-harm but I stopped. I didn't stop just for me and it definitely wasn't easy to just stop but it was for my family and friends who I care about so much and I could tell how much it hurt them when I told them about it and I think they felt like they should have known but they're wrong, there was nothing that they could have done to stop me. It hurt so much to see them worry about me and I knew that the only way to get them to trust me again was if I stopped and I took control of my life since my life was a total mess at the time and I was just really unhappy and if I wanted that to change I had to do something about it.
The only people that know about that are my best friends back in Perth and my family. I haven't told any of my Youtube friends because even though it was a big part of my life, it's over and I'm trying to move on with my life and be happy again.
It definitely doesn't help to read all the hate that I receive so I decided that I wouldn't respond to the hate or even read it since I know that there's probably more that people are sending and maybe even worse. I put my phone away and suddenly remembered that I had been crying so I quickly went to the bathroom next to Tyler's room to wash my face and hopefully reduce the redness before anyone sees me like this.
"Hey Troye, are you alright?" Tyler asked curiously as I was coming out of the bathroom.
"Yeah I'm fine, I just woke up. Did you need anything?"
"No I was just going to check up on you. We were just talking about doing a collab with you, me, Caspar and Marcus. Do you wanna join us?" He asked. I nodded and followed Tyler into the living room where Marcus and Caspar were lying on the couch talking.
"Hey Troye!" Yelled Caspar just as I walked into the room. He ran up to me like a little kid.
"Do a collab with us? Pleeaassee?" He begged as if I would say no to collaborating with some of my favourite Youtubers.
"Of course Caspy!" I said and Caspar immediately pulled me into a hug and I just laughed at his childish antics. I walked over to the couch and sat next to Marcus who had pulled out his laptop and is editing his latest video which looks like an Ask Marcus.
"So what were you thinking of doing for the video?" I asked all of them.
"Marcus suggested we do a Truth or Dare video and our fans can send in truths and dares. If we send out a Tweet we could film the video later today. We can also ask some of the other guys to come over and help film and set up" Tyler suggested.
"Yeah that would be cool. I haven't seen Jim, Tan or Joe yet and the fans would love to see a truth or dare video with all of us in it. I'll text everyone to see who's coming" I said enthusiastically as I pulled out my phone and texted everyone.
To: Zoe, Alfie, Jim, Tanya, Joe, Louise
Hey guys Tyler, Marcus, Caspar and I are going to film a collab. Do you wanna come over and hang out? Also if you see anyone else can you let them know as well? You can come over to Tyler's around 4:30. I'll hopefully see you then :)
I asked Tyler if that was alright and sent the text. All of us sent Tweets asking to send in some dares and truths and as soon as we asked, the separate hashtags we all used were immediately flooded with Tweets. I burst out laughing when I read some of the dares. Our fans can be SO inappropriate... but I love them.
"Oh my God! We are not doing that!" Marcus said when I showed him the Tweets while Tyler and I are laughing like idiots.
"Okay... seriously though, we need to find some good dares" I said after we finally stopped laughing.
I was lying down with my head on Tyler's lap reading the Tweet's that our fans sent in and occasionally taking a screenshot of one and putting it on a document for later. Tyler was lazily playing with my hair and at this moment it felt like everything in the world is right. I could just imagine what it would be like to spend the rest of my life with Tyler, waking up next to him and introducing him to my family not just as a friend but as a boyfriend or maybe even husband. If I wanted that to ever happen I need to make a move but if I do and he rejects me our friendship will never be the same again.
We had all found some good ideas that fans Tweeted so we chose the best ones to use in the video. The doorbell rang and I realized that it had already been about an hour since I texted everyone.
Caspar opened the door and there stood Zoe, Alfie, Joe, Jim, Tanya and Louise. "Hey guys, come in" Caspar greeted them. I went over to them and gave them all a hug.
"What are you guys going to do for your video?" Zoe asked as she made her way over to sit next to Tyler.
"We're doing a truth or dare video" Caspar answered.
"Cool, do you want help setting up?" She asked politely. I mumbled a quick 'sure' and we went off to Tyler's bedroom.
I had been thinking about telling Zoe about my feelings towards Tyler for a while now but it had been forever since I last saw her in person so I thought now would be a good time. Zoe was getting the camera out and I closed the door so nobody would hear us.
"Hey Zoe" I said nervously. Even though I knew she wouldn't judge me there was still a little part of me that was scared of what she would think of me.
"Yeah, are you okay? You know you can tell me anything Troye." She said patiently. She could tell that I was nervous and didn't rush me and that's what I love about her, she really is a great friend.
"It's not really a big deal but... I'm sort of in love with Tyler" Before I could even think about what I just said Zoe started squealing and pulled me into a hug.
"Oh my god Troye that is so cute!" She exclaimed and I was immediately relieved that she didn't hate me.
"What am I supposed to do though, Tyler definitely doesn't feel the same way but I still can't help it, I can't stop thinking about him" I said after Zoe let go of me and had calmed down. I only just realised that Zoe was looking at me like she had just seen a ghost. My thoughts were interrupted when a voice coming from behind us spoke.
"Hey Troye..."
----------------------------------------------------
So yeah that was a chapter.
Pleeeeaaasse tell me what you think and yeah thats it ok lol the last chapter was pretty bad because i didnt even really read it or anything so yeah :)
