Huh?

A Secret

What is the simplest yet most precious happiness that life can give you?

 If you’ll ask me, my answer would be: Good Books.

Good books can take you anywhere, without you knowing it. You can be anyone you want to be. You can cry your heart out. You can laugh your arse off. You can feel the feeling of being crippled… and broken… and damned. You can smile like a crazy idiot at the same time—but only when you read books.

That’s the good thing about books. You’ll be able to find happiness with the words turning into a very wonderful movie—in your head.

How I wish my life’s a book… a story, so that I don’t have to speak—because people just have to read.

I wish people know and knew what’s happening to my life. So that they don’t have to judge me, so they don’t have to ask.

I don’t like answering questions. I only like making it.

I don’t know how to show my emotions. I don’t know how to cry in front of people. I don’t know how to stop worrying about what they’re going to say. I don’t know how to stop doubting.

I once wished to invisible. I once wished to be dead. I wanted to see how people would react. I wanted to see if someone would actually... care.

Pain, we feel it because of love, because of care, because of almost everything.

I don’t want to feel it anymore. I’m so tired of crying almost every night just to release all the pain. I’m so tired of making myself believe that I’m going to be a better person someday. I’m tired of laughing and smiling so fake. I’m tired of my friends who do not even notice my pains. I’m tired of myself being like this. I’m tired of me.

I wish I can remove pain. I wish I’ll stop pitying myself so much. I wish to stop caring about others and just do whatever I like. I wish to be their superior so they won’t do anything bad to me. So I won’t be hurt again because all they have to do… is to please me.

I’m tired of pleasing people. In fact, I’m sick of it. I want them to please me too. I want them to… at least try.

I wish I can remove all these pains. I wish. But no matter how much I try to remove it, or at least avoid it, I can’t, because if there’s one thing that is constant and inevitable in this world, it’s pain.

I wish my life’s a book, a story that will eventually end either sad or happy or tragic, but that’s just it.

“The End”, no more continuation, there’s always an ending.

But in life, we don’t know what will happen next even after our ending.

Are you… like me? But do you realize that your own life’s a story too, a story written by the greatest writer, by God? That no matter how much we suffer, eventually, we’ll be happy too? Life’s not perfect. We feel pain. But pain’s just a constant reminder that once in your life, you love, you care. It’s a good thing. We can’t be always happy. We have to experience pain. You, me, them, us… we are bound to experience it.

Our life’s a story. We might not know what’s going to happen after our end, but just like every story… it continues; a real story doesn’t have an ending, because just like every ending, there’s a new beginning.

We are never going to know what will happen to ‘that’ new beginning.

Only the author can tell.

And in our case… only God can tell.