Better Than Revenge

Kabanata 2

Bestfriends

Just because it can't kill you doesn't mean it wont hurt that much.

Ang sabi nila what does not kill you makes you stronger.. But what you don't know is-- the pain will eat you up until you die a little bit everytime. Ganoon ang proseso bago ka maging malakas.

"Ate, hindi ka ba kakain?"

Napapikit ako ng marinig ang boses ni Ran. Base sa pandinig ko, nasa loob na naman siya ng aking kwarto. Hindi ko na mabilang kung pang ilang beses na siyang pumasok dito.

Hindi ako sumagot agad. Alam kong alam niyang wala akong gana. Narinig ko ang pag buntong hininga nito.

"Hindi..." Tumagilid ako sa pagkakahiga at tinalikuran siya. No matter how much he worries, he can't erase the pain. I still end up hurting.

What's the use of asking me that same damn question every minute of the day? Ni hindi ko mahagilap ang kahit katiting na rason at motivation para kumain. He's just troubling himself with me.

"Kung ganoon, iiwan ko na lang ang pagkain sa mesa. I'll be out for a while.. Mag eenroll ako.. Ikaw?"

Huminga ako ng malalim, umiling at hindi na lang siya pinansin. Enrollment? I haven't thought of that yet. I was supposed to be a fourth year college student this year but.. Who cares? Wala akong ibang maisip kundi ang sakit at kalungkutan na bumabalot saakin bawat sandali ng aking paghinga. It's unbearable, I wondered why I'm still breathing. I should really stop doing it.

"Sige.."

Hindi na ako sumagot. Alam kong mas lalo niya lang akong kukulitin oras na magsalita ako. Makalipas ang ilang sandali ay narinig ko ang pagsara ng pinto ng aking kwarto. My room's not that big. In fact, sobrang liit noon I could easily sense someone's presence whenever.

Iminulat ko ang aking mga mata ng mawala ang kapatid ko. My eyes hurt a little from all the crying I was in last night. I know it was puffy and still red.

Strong huh? Ngumiwi ako. If this was all it takes to be stronger, then can I just skip this part?

Hindi iyon kaaya aya. It's suffocating me. Like how I choke up everytime I remember their names.

Gwyn Cicely Lopez.

Mahigit isang taon rin kaming naging matalik na magkaibigan. I don't even know what went on. All those times was full of laughters and good moments.. So how?

Kumuyom ang panga ko.

Beauty. Brain. Wealth.

She had that all. She came from a rather known and highly respected family. Wala akong alam sa kanilang negosyo pero ang alam ko'y isa iyong international company. It was a manufacturer of a clothing line.. His father was wealthy even before he entered politics. Gwyn was obviously born with a gold spoon in her mouth. She was a simple girl who looked fragile outside, but on the inside-- she was an intelligent and strong lady. She likes sweets and promises which makes her childish sometimes.

She's used in getting what she wants, so she really doesn't exert that much effort to get or have it. Lahat ng gustuhin niya ay agad na masusunod sa isang kumpas lamang ng kanyang kamay. But she was kind to me...

She brought me things I don't usually need out of fondness. She gives me her unused belongings even when I didn't ask for it. She treats me to different restaurants when we hang out.. She treats me like a sister.

That was practically our relationships as bestfriends. She is a curious person so everytime she wanted to explore a place, she'd drag me with her. To different places. And I would be glad accompanying her because she was fun to be with. She made me feel freedom in her own way.