A Change of Heart

Chapter Thirty Nine

Tom stirred and pushed himself up. His whole body was sore, aching and stiff. He rose weakly, stumbling and holding on to the wall for support. He was feeling dizzy and nauseous.

He stood a little bit straighter and closed his eyes. He drew a few deep breaths, rotating his head. He opened his eyes again and slowly took halting steps towards the door. He nearly stepped on his wand. He stooped to pick it up and started removing the wards and charms around the house.

He opened the door and stepped out. It was dark. He wondered how much time might have elapsed. A simple spell told him it had been only two days. He smiled weakly. Two days. But he'd suffered a lifetime of pain within those two days.

He straightened himself. His dizziness and nausea were gone. He felt -whole, complete, in a way he'd not felt since he was sixteen. But his work was far from complete. He'd promised Harry that he would vindicate him. People thought him a liar because he told the truth that people in power did not want to hear. He would prove Harry was no liar.

He was aware he was hungry. No wonder. He had been starving for two days. He apparated straight to Malfoy Manor. Fortunately, the Malfoys were still awake. They expressed concern over his disappearance for two days and immediately got their house elves to run him a bath and to bring him food.

Tom was feeling more like himself after the bath and dinner. But he was also sleepy. He went to bed, concocting plans for the morrow. He had to be careful and he had to move fast. His plan had to be put into motion before his followers became restless and did something rash.

Tom knew Harry had shared part of his pain. So had Nagini. While creating a Horcrux with a sentient being was easy and painless, to draw the piece of soul out was excruciatingly painful for the soul receptacle as well. Which was one among the reasons why one generally used only inanimate objects to be Horcruxes. Till Tom, no one had ever thought of using a living thing as a Horcrux.

Of course, Harry was an accident. Tom had not intended to make him a Horcrux. But Nagini had been a conscious decision. Which reminded Tom. Where was she? She should have been here.

Tom called to her and received a weak reply from one corner. Tom went to her. Nagini was curled up in a dark corner, weak and tired after the ordeal she'd been through.

"I'm sorry," murmured Tom in Parseltongue, stroking her. "But you are free now."

Nagini snorted, but did not reply.

Tom patted her and went back to his own bed.

He had to sleep. He needed a clear head to do what he planned to do. And the spell he had to use took a lot of concentration.

Tom thought vaguely that if splitting the soul entailed as much pain as putting it back together, no one would have tried it. But it did make sense in a way.  Splitting his soul was the decision of someone frightened of death, of pain. Putting it together was a validation of life. And like childbirth, it had to entail pain for the person to truly appreciate what a whole soul was like.

Tom sighed. He hoped Harry was okay. He also hoped Harry would understand and forgive him for what he was about to do.