A Change of Heart

Chapter Eighteen

Harry was going through the motions. Not even the thought of going back to Hogwarts was enough to cheer him up any longer. He was aware of the worried glances by his friends and the others. They had expected Harry to be glad since he was cleared of all charges in the hearing, but with the weight of the prophecy hanging on him, Harry could not even manage a smile.

Sirius cornered Harry three days before start of the new term at Hogwarts. Harry was sitting by the window in the living room by himself when Sirius came to him and sat down next to him.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked, his face reflecting his concern. His Godfather was beginning to look human again, Harry noticed.  He was beginning to look more like the man in his parents' wedding photos.

Harry felt a lump rise to his throat. He wanted to tell Sirius, but he did not know how. And, to be honest, he was terrified of telling anyone about Tom. Dumbledore was different, he had thought Dumbledore would understand and he did. But he was probably the only one because even Harry did not understand what was going on between him and Tom. And he certainly could not expect Sirius to understand.

He looked at Sirius' face and then lowered his eyes. "I don't know," said he.

Sirius put his arms around Harry, holding him. "I know I could not be there for you before," he said. "But I'm here now, and I'll always be. If you don't want to talk, that's fine. But if you ever do, I'm here."

Harry felt a lump in his throat as he hugged Sirius back. "I want to tell you, but I don't know how to. And I'm afraid to."

Before Sirius could reply, Snape came into the room, followed by Tonks and the opportunity was lost.

"You should go upstairs and pack," Sirius told him.

Harry nodded. Snape stood stiffly, watching the exchange. On an impulse, Harry turned to him.

"May I ask you something, Professor?"
Snape looked like a man who'd found a poisonous slug crawling up his arm.
"Make it quick, Potter."

"Is there..." Harry coughed to clear his throat. He was uncomfortably aware of Sirius' frowning glance upon him and of Tonks' openly curious one. "Is there anything changed about Voldemort's appearance?"

Snape shot him a sharp glance. "The Dark Lord," said he, speaking slowly, "has changed much in appearance and voice. But he keeps his hood pulled over his face at all times, so that no one would notice it. However, whenever he is by himself he removes the hood. I had managed to chance upon him on one such occasion, and if not for the aura of power around him and the clothes he wore, I would have been hard pressed to recognize him."

"Changed how?" Asked Tonks curiously. "Has he developed metamorph abilities somehow?"

"He looks- human," said Snape. "I do not know how. I do not think it is an enchantment." He looked at Harry again. "But why did you ask that, Potter?"

"He-looked different when I saw him last," muttered Harry, deliberately not saying when it was. They would probably think it was in the graveyard.
He rushed out of there before the other members of the Order started coming in. He did not want to face any unnecessary questions.

Ron and Hermione were in his room, waiting for him. Harry knew he should have expected this. By the look on their faces, he knew his days of evasion were over.

"Harry," it was Hermione who spoke. "You need to talk about it. It's eating you from the inside."

Harry looked at them both, at their concerned faces. He had to tell them. And he knew it would be a big relief to share it with someone. Perhaps, they could make better sense of it than he could.