cold cold // yuri!!! on ice

|5|

i could feel each hour that had passed deep in my heart, tugging me down, down, down.

deeper in my ocean of self-hatred, for denying the cry my pleading soul was sending out. my fingernails dragged against my skin.

why was i yearning so hard, for someone i never wished to meet?

Someone apologize to my heart, for i cannot.

the clock ticked, the turn of hands landing on 11:17 pm. the smell of greasy food and steamed sweat was an idle distraction from the aching within me. yet i couldn't stand one second without some form of one.

my shift had ended five hours ago, but i had begged and now still served the few customers lonely enough to hobble in. my stomach churned with nausea, my head with dizziness.

the bell above the door rung with glee, followed by the yip of a dog. glancing over, i noticed the poodle dancing at the new customer's feet, barks followed by pure laughter, the easy sound of no regrets. i hesitated for just a moment in the glorious sound, a second of relief for my twisting heart. then i turned.

his eyes locked on mine, his smile quick and smooth. hair gray and light twisted down his forehead, skin pale as ice.

"hello! are pets allowed in here?"

no, no they weren't.

why here? of all the places in the world he could go, he had to choose where his soulmate was suffering, thinking so desperately about him? surprise was still caught in my throat, like dry leaves against my tongue.

i nodded.

his footsteps were as gentle as autumn, with the subtlely of a storm. no less grace should be expected of a performer.

my heart spoke fire in my chest. burning brighter as he grew closer, closer...

"would like like me to sign something? a photo, perhaps?"

he grinned at me, all bundled in his dark sweater from the cold, nose turned pink by the bitter air of snow. eyes the color of winter skies and pastel shades of the deep sea.

my wrist ached.

instead of a reply, i turned abruptly, heaving past the heavy bar doors to the kitchen. the smell of alcohol and wet money filled my senses.

i hadn't been wrong earlier. he was definitely a narcissist. .