cold cold // yuri!!! on ice

|6|

i can feel your heart...

though he'd tried to strike conversation multiple times since i'd lumbered out from my hiding spot, my mouth stayed limp. too many thoughts rolled through my head to trust myself with words.

he'd ordered a raspberry beer, a locally feminine drink. the beverage was gone too soon, followed with him ordering another.

silence fell, more comforting than eerie. i watched the way he moved without his notice, the dip of his hands and swing of his head as he took another gulp. the screams inside of me had died down, relieved by the presence of who it so desperately craved. i huffed softly. how pathetic.

"you know, i've never met my soulmate," he muttered slowly, twirling a third glass in his fingers. my eyes wandered to him, my heart thumping faster. don't mention it, please.

"i've been everywhere, looked at everyone. i talked to doctors and psychiatrists, but they all say the same. 'you just have some terrible luck'." his fingertips circled the name on his wrist. my name. hair covered my expression, trembling lip and all. eyes gentle as newborn deer traced me, even though i could not see.

my being craved him, his touch, his words. my knees trembled already at the soft mention of my name. a force i could never hope to control.

is this how my mother felt, all alone on her bedroom floor? ripped open and bleeding?

small laughter left his parted lips, dancing ironically through the air. my hands curled together, nails biting into my skin. "it's been a scandal since i was young, though. a boy with another boy's name imprinted. almost embarrassing to have to turn down all the beautiful girls that ask for me."

my teeth came down on my lip, blood running cold. i'd forgotten to realize the masculinity of my name, and how it must appear to someone who's never met me.

the feminine ice skater, born to love the girl with a masculine name.

how cliché.

he kept talking, even as i placed the fifth glass next to his slumped face and left. every cell in me begged me to stay, to take his hand and explore how wonderful love could be. maybe he's different.

don't fall for their tricks, sweetheart. .