Confusion

Space

Ella's POV

When I got back to the office I decided I would make up the extra hour I took for lunch. I needed to work on this presentation so I sent Christian home and stayed back with Derek. Derek could sense something was wrong with me as he never said a word while I worked away. And I was trying my hardest to concentrate on my work, but truth was, I was avoiding Christian and our chat. For the last hour I moved a chart from one side of the page to the other, I really was not being productive. I was only delaying the inevitable.
"Sis did you want me to order dinner for us?"
"No its alright I'm not hungry but you order whatever you want"
"Okay I'll be outside the door if you need me"
"Okay"
I walked over to the glass window and looked out to the city below, another tower another place to feel trapped. Why was I angry at Christian again. Was I angry because pretty Miss Thing came to take him to lunch, and he went. But thats not his fault I told him to go. Or was it because I wanted her to acknowledge me as his equal? That I was indeed his partner and not another one of his mistresses. I think truth is that was it, and then Greg challenged me, he took one look at me and thought I was not a worthy opponent, I felt like I was nothing in this world of his but a mere distraction. No one took me seriously, not even Linda. She bothered me. When Greg discovered who I was he treated me kindly. It was her.
"Hey"
I turned to see Derek looking at me with that worried expression
"Whats wrong?"
"Nothing"
"Something happened to you this morning because you were fine when we left your apartment, and you took your lunch break early, thats why I was shocked to see you when I did, is it Christian and his ex wife thats got you worked up?"
"Kind of"
"Talk to me sis"
"Its just.... um...."
"Well?"
"Its just the way she treated me I guess"
"What are you jealous of her or something"
"Ummm I guess I am little but its more than that"
"What is it?"
"Its the way she looked at me, like I was some piece of trash she had to deal with"
"We've had that all our life like when we were in high school and kids  laughed at us because we didn't have parents and how we couldn't afford fancy clothes or even lunch sometimes, so whats changed?"
"I don't know being with Christian in this rich world of his, us being partners/lovers you know we are so different hes had a life of luxury I've had a life of fighting my way through, and then you see his wife and she comes from the same world as him, and I just feel like I don't know".
"Like you not worthy or compatible"
"Yeah" I signed.
"Come here, you are a survivor you have been to hell and back probably more times that anyone I know and everytime you get back up and push through, don't let her judgement cloud whats really important here"
"Which is?"
"You love Christian and he loves you, she can't replace that, hell she had that, but that didn't last but you can"
"And if he moves on, like he's had enough of poor old me, then what"
"You get back up and you push on"
He hugged me and I knew he was right but ever since we left Tuscany, and our kidnappings we've had a lot of disagreements since we returned. And my heart was fully invested into this relationship I just didn't know how much Christian was investing before he moved on. And it scared me, because it would be the 2nd time in my life I would lose someone precious to me.
"You know sis you should tell him how you feel"
"I did and well the answer was not one I expected or wanted to hear"
"Oh"
"Yeah oh"
"Well maybe you need some space from each other I mean you live with him and you work with him,  why don't you come stay with me for the weekend clear your head abit?"
"Yeah sounds like a good idea"
"I'll just call him"

I grabbed my phone and walked out into one of the meeting rooms
After the firt ring he answered
"Hi baby"
"Hi"
"What time are you coming home should I sent Charlie to pick you up?"
"No its okay I was talking with Derek and we both agreed that maybe I could stay with him this weekend, ahh you know give us some space"
"Why?"
"Well I just need some space to clear my head"
"Why, do you need space look if this is about Greg we can talk about it when you get home"
"No its not about Greg look you said it yourself that something was wrong and I think that me and you need abit of space to breath thats all"
"Please Ella I don't understand whats happening here are you breaking up with me"
"Oh god no Christian no I love you very much"
"Then what?"
"I just need some space right now, can you respect that please I promise to talk to you later about it, please Christian"
"Okay okay but your to stay at Dereks no one elses place so I know where you are okay"
"Okay I promise baby"
"Okay um I'll see on Monday at work then"
"Umm yeah you will"
"I love you Ella"
"I love you to Christian goodnight"
"Goodnight baby"

We arrived at Dereks apartment and all I wanted to do was sleep, so I said goodnight to Derek and went into the spare bedroom but I couldn't sleep I tossed and turned. It was 3am in the morning when I heard noises outside my door I was going to get up when I heard
"Ella baby?"
I reached over to turn on the side lamp
"Christian, what are you doing here"
"I couldn't sleep without you, I know you wanted your space but I'm sorry baby,  I can't, I need you can I please stay"
I pulled back the blanket he quickly took off his pants and shirt and hopped into bed with me. I smiled because truth was I missed him too.
He held me close to his chest
"Baby whats wrong"
"I don't know how to say it"
"Just tell me please its driving me crazy"
"I I hated the way Linda treated me today"
He pulled me away from his chest so that he could look me in the eyes
"What do you mean?"
"Well she treated me like I wasn't worthy of your love or I was not you everything, I was your temporary fix"
"What! Ella I love you have I not told you enough that I love you have I not shown you enough that I care why would you question our relationship"
I couldn't look at him anymore and just shrugged my shoulders.
"Tuscany, you are still thinking about Tuscany and what I said"
"Yeah"
"Okay stop because I don't care what she did or said you need to listen to me now I love you and the only way I will stop loving you is if you lie or deceive me for your own gain, and you have not done any of that. If anything you have done the opposite you have protected me and loved me. You are my forever baby we were made for each other"
I grabbed him and kissed him because this beautiful man loves me.

Tomorrow was a new beginning for us.