Where to go from Here

Goodbye

    Hwa-Young POV

 I sat there frozen in my spot contemplating how hard it would be for me to make a run for it, yet I knew it was too late for that. My gaze never broke his as if trying to search for an answer to why he could possibly be here after all this time. Thoughts burned through my mind wanting to scream them all out now and never have to face him ever again.

"Hey, can we talk?" Jinyoung asked in a half whisper with nervousness laced between words. In my mind I scoffed, how can you possibly come here after almost five months and try to explain yourself now? Can you really say such words to sway me into thinking that everything is good and the past few months never happened, that no matter how much I'm hurting inside you were not the reason behind it, that if I were listen I would be able to let myself go back to you and say that I am fine. I hesitated but lowered my head and slowly nodded accepting his offer. He sat down beside me without any words leaving his mouth. I sat at the very edge of the piano bench not wanting to be any closer or I may end up crying on his shoulder. I stared at the open notebook on my lap with the words etched out on the top of the page "I'm sorry to say Goodbye." I sighed and closed the book before he could see and looked at the various black and white piano keys displayed before me. I tried to keep a strong image hoping that he could just say what he needed to say and leave. Awkward silence hung over us like a curtain, something so different than what I was so used to before. I took a deep breath in to say something.

"I-" we both said at the same time not expecting each other's voices. I quickly shut my mouth to signal for him to continue. He took a deep breath in again to try and recollect his thoughts again.
"I-" He began again but just then JB burst in through the door panting.
"There you are Jinyoung come on! JYP PD-nim just called a meeting for us!" He exclaimed before grabbing Jinyoung and pulling him out. I reverted my eyes back to the notebook that sat on my lap. In the corner of my eyes I could see Jinyoung staring at me his eyes glossy wanting to yell something out. I shook my head trying to shake that image out as he once again disappeared. I opened my notebook up back to the page. The faint sounds of the pencil scratched against the page as the occasional pat of a tear escaping my eyes fell and soaked the page.

I forgot what it's like to be without you by my side
When you disappeared I wonder what I did wrong
The memories of you and I play on repeat constantly on my mind
I reminisce from hitting the replay button on our favourite song
You look at me but you won't see my cry
I'm sorry to say goodbye
Thank you for the times we had, the memories I will always cherish
The day you stepped into my life is something that will never perish
Now we're separated like two opposite ends of the pole
But two halves that make a whole
I'm sorry but it's time to say goodbye

I closed the book while heaving a sigh. I walked out of the room as if a weight lingered on my shoulders. My mind swirled wondering what he wanted to say. If what he wanted to say really mean that much to him why didn't he just tell me right away? It did look like he wanted to stay and tell me. Except, why should I care?