Sleeping With Insomnia (EDITING)

Chapter Three

“I’m going to do it.”

I don’t know who I was talking to. I don’t know why I was talking. My mind was broken, my heart bleeding. I deserve this.

“Where. When. How. Why.”

Constant questions with incomplete answers. My understanding was lost and my confusion was even muddled.  The hum of the car became faster as my foot pushed down harder. There was no emotion left in me. Nothing. My head hurt. My eyes leaked. My heart dead. Faster I went. Down the road. To wherever this journey may take me. My hope was back to my darling Delilah, but to be honest, I deserved hell.

Horns hooted and then. Nothing. Crashing, banging, screaming and blood. My blood and lots of it. I could hear the voices of onlookers and helpers surrounding the metal heap with a body inside. Why should the care about who is in here? I’m not their mother, child, friend or family. I’m a psychotic nightmare. I’m a pointless piece of dirt, but these words trailed out of my husky throat, “Help me.”

****

Buzzing from my phone brought me back from the world I was day-dreaming in. My weary eyes read an unknown number on my phone. Do I answer?

“Hello?”

“Hi there, is this Francesca’s fiancé Oscar?”

It hit me then.

“Shit! What’s happened?”

“She’s been in a car crash. I can assure you, she’s in a stable condition. She’s at Lakewood Hospital.”

“I’m on my way.”

Before I knew it I was out the door with the car keys and leaping into the Land Rover. Lakewood Hospital was twenty minutes away, but I was going to make it in ten. The car reeved in agreement as I sped off of the drive and onto the main road. All that was going around in my head was questions and terrible outcomes. My foot was hard on the pedal and the car was doing around sixty. I was determined to make it in quick time.