Sleeping With Insomnia (EDITING)

Chapter Five

I remember screaming and waking up into a blank room with a nurse beside me. I felt two hands grab a hold of my shoulders and slamming me back down onto the bed. Tears began to stream down my cheeks as I felt something injected into me.

“Fran listen to me. It’s Oscar. I’m here.”

I felt his hand entwine with mine. The nurse began speaking but nothing was going through my ears. Closing my eyes, I let the tears trickle and breathed slowly. I still had the urge to scream, and keep screaming. The door clicked shut. Oscar and I were left alone in the room.

“Fran, are you ok?”

“Nightmare. . .”

“Oh gosh sweetie,” he gave me a gentle hug and whispered, “I love you.”

It’s nice to know he’s here, but I don’t feel there myself. My mind was talking but my mouth wouldn’t move.

“You’ll be ok. Don’t worry. I’m here now Fran.”

I was too afraid of asking Oscar questions about the last time I was apparently here. So I kept quiet. Just staring at the ceiling. Breathing.

Breathing.

***

There was silence. Oscar was sound asleep. I, however, was wide awake, still in the same spot, staring at the ceiling. My breathing hadn’t changed. My head hadn’t straightened out. It was going so mad and out of control in my mind. I just needed to focus on my breathing.

“Calm down,” I was just trying to convince myself I could do it, but those nightmares scare the hell out of me.

I looked over to Oscar’s phone which was on the bedside table. It read 3:00am.

“Oscar.”

I sat up in the bed and leaned over to stroke his head.

“Oscar.”

“Uh-wha-uh-Fran.”

He started mumbling as he woke up.

“Oh Fran! Are you ok?”

“Oscar I’m fine. I can’t sleep.”

"Oh sweetie," he got up and sat on the end of the bed with me, "come here."

I crawled over to him and sat in his lap. His hands began playing with my hair. It was calming. Just knowing he was there for me. The questions about why I was here before were on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back. It was probably when they tried to save Delilah. 

"What shall we talk about?"

"You decide."

He got the picture that I didn't really want to talk, but I was happy to hear him talk. The subject he began talking about  suprised me alot.

"See you always make me laugh when you go on about colour schemes like the whole world might collapse on top of us if we don't get it right. You can choose whatever colour you want you know? Lavander is such a nice colour though. So I don't mind lavander."

My ring caught my eye. My engagment ring. A rose-quartz heart placed inside a silver design. Our wedding plans. I remember.

"What about the cake though?"

Oscar was in shock. He didn't expect me to remember, I could tell. The smile on his face though lit up so brightly.

"Well we agreed on sponge didn't we?"

"Everyone likes sponge. I'd prefer everyone to enjoy cake then leave it."

"Yes you're right. Tiers?"

"Four. I have a big family remember?"

He laughed, "Yes baby I do."

"And. . .my dress?"

His face started to saden.

"What? What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing," he smiled again, "what would you like?"

Our conversation went on for hours. Until 7:00am. The same nurse came in to tell us I can be discharged today.

***

"She can take two a night. If they don't work after six weeks, come back and see me."

"Ok will do."

Now I knew this was going to be a difficult situation. Fran has, in the past, refused medication. I didn't know whether or not to introduce it to her. Last night we actually talked for the longest time. The longest since what happened. I didn't want that small connection being broken off again. This was so hard. 

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine Fran. Lets take you home."

We made our way to the car and strapped in. I'd stuck the pills in my back pocket so she didn't see. Fran always stared outside the window whenever we went on a ride. She enjoyed the scenes and the speed we went at, making everything blur past. I left her in her quiet world and focused on the road. I just wasn't sure what to do about these pills. 

"Could we stop off at the garage and grab something to drink?"

"Sure."

She hadn't eaten or drunk at the hospital. She always worried me when she didn't eat. Such a frail being she'd become. Fran jumped out of the car and grabbed two bottles from the garage. Before she'd even got back to the car after paying for both drinks, she'd drunk half of hers.

"Thankyou," I said taking my drink of water off of her. We made our way home, in a peaceful silence.