Unfiltered Letters

Day 4: 10/26/16

Saying goodnight to her is probably one of the hardest things. I don't know how she does it. If she didn't step up and say that she was tired or wasn't feeling well, we probably stay up and talk forever. Because I would never leave, I never want to stop talking to her. Even if it's about something stupid, like choosing the right comforter for our mattress when we are older. And yes, that was one of our conversations tonight. 

I have to admit to something. I feel awfully bad for doing this, because normally I should do the opposite but I think it's mostly because I'm not sure what to do when it happens. Normally, when she gets stressed, freaks out, or is depressed, I reply shortly. Short answers, and I kind of stay small because I don't know how to act. I apologize that she is feeling this way, cause I never want to ever be stressed or depressed, so why would I wish it upon my girl? Frankly, I just try to skip to the happy times because thats what I'm best at. 

Our arguments have calmed down for sure, we haven't had a genuine fight in like a week, I think. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think we have our conversations when it is shark week for the both of us. Unfortunately, we synced up recently, so instead of just uploading the bitch on one person at a time, its 2x the bitch and I think that's why we fought so much. Now that both of our periods are over, we're okay. 

Right now it's 10:37, and I just said goodnight to her about 10 minutes ago because she had to shower. I miss her. I'm starting to have trouble sleeping again for whatever reason, but I don't think it is cause of anything serious. Normally, when I daydream about my future with her, or good memories, or of just her in general, I can fall asleep within about an hour, so I think if I just continue to do that, I'll be just fine. I mean, she is my person after all. Why wouldn't just the thought of her help me to sleep?