I wake up paniced, and mortified, that was a fucked up dream. How could I even imagine such a hell? My mom rushes into my room and nudges me out of bed. "Get up, today is a special day. Its your first day of school!" She sings as she makes my bed. I stare at her blankly like a zombie, except I want real food. She says in a musical tone, "Hurry up or you'll be late, go eat and get dressed. It's a big day for us!" For us? All I'm doing is starting a new semester of the third school I've been to in the span of a year.
I go to the bathroom and put on my pants, black skinny jeans of course. My favorite red flannel and black vans. The hair straightener is already on, I guess mom must of turned it on already. That's nice of her, I guess. I feel as if I'm in my most "handsome" outfit. Mom chants at me to hurry up downstairs and eat or I'll be late for the bus. Walking downstairs like a zombie, about half way I see a feast fit for 100 men on the table. Mom thinks she see's a petty smile, but I'm actually glad she made me breakfast. I devour all of the food. I have'nt ate since before the 7 hour flight from Berlin. This is actually kind of a normal sized meal for me, but i'm so skinny because I have a thyroid probelm. I finish up and go back up stairs to do final tweaks to my hair. People ask me, a lot, if I'm gay because i focus on my hair a lot. I can't stress enough that I'm not, I just like to look good.
I get board of waiting for the dam bus, so I go try to find my journal through a shit load of packed boxes in my room. There is a nice quote I wrote on the front cover. It reads, "Life- 'Death why do people love me so much but hate your guts.' Death- 'Well Life, it's because I am the painful truth, while your a beautiful lie...'" Sometime i wonder what made me this way. Whatever I like it. I start thinking about my nightmare, it blocks my "creative flow." I can't think of anything to write.
Fuck it, the bus is here. Mom yells at me from down stairs. "The bus is here, go get to school! Your bag is by the door."
"Mom do i have to go to school? Why can't I start tomorrow?" I mope.
"Yes, we aren't having this conversation again. Go get on the bus!"
"Fuck, OK." I say under my breath. Leaving the house mom rushes over to the door as I'm walking out to hug me. I don't hug her back like always. The bus is one of thoughs small ones for the mental kids. But it's all normal kids, then of course me... I walk up the steps and find an empty seat in the back, alone. I notice kids looking at me, They look like upper-class men, and like assholes. No girls that are of my taste either. Great start.
A couple bus stops go by and this big red-faced douche gets on the bus. He walks up to me and says, "Hey Emo, get up, that's my seat!" I can't hear him because I'm listening to my music. He again says, "Hey, Emo-kid, get the fuck out of my seat!" I just can't help to notice his lack a brains. At this point he grabs me by my shirt and lifts me up out of the seat. Everyone is looking at us. When finally someone came up and shove the red-faced fuck away from me. When he was shoved I fell back into the seat. I look up and see an extremely classy looking girl standing with her hand gestured to help me up. I take her hand and she yanks me up. Her hands where so soft, smooth, and inviting. I looked up at her face. She was gorgeous, like no woman i have ever seen before. And I say woman because no girl could be this breath taking in one look.
"You OK? Sorry about Brick, he has no social skills what so ever. No intelligence either." She chuckled. With one swoop I was on my feet.
"Yeah, I...I'm fine I guess," my words didn't roll of my tongue to well. "Is his name really brick?"
"You're funny, no. We call him Brick because his head is square and he has a red-face. Can I sit with you?"
"YES!... I mean, um, yeah. If you want I mean." I'm so nervous! Could this be my first friend? Could I be lucky enough to make such a stunning woman be my friend?
"Oh, sorry. My boyfriend just got on, I'll see you around new kid." She gave me a pitty smile and I just stared at her, even when she walked away. I saw her boyfriend, he was a jock, a football player. It was obvious I have no chance with her at all. He was big, muscular, and played the towns favorite sport. Football. I had no chance with any girl really. Who would like the new kid, that emo kid. I doubt there are any girls who are scene or goth or punk either. I hate school so much, I thought. Why am i even going to attempt, I thought. Fuck it.
The bus rolls up to the drive way of the school. The drive way enters from the side of the school. Everyone gets off the bus, including me. I sort of follow everyone else. Until we are in the quad looking area. Buildings all around besides where the bus drive way is. Smaller than the last one, I think. I look down at my schedule. I have no idea where I'm going. Not one sense of direction. I ask the friendliest looking kid where the main office was. He just gave me a blank stare as if I was speaking a different language. I ask again, with the same result. "NEW KID!" I hear from behind. "Hey new kid!" I turn to see a young, short haired girl gesturing to me with big waving arms. What the fuck does this one want. i just need some direction to the main office and I'll be fine. But no, this one has to make it apparent to fucking Canada that I'm the new kid.
As I walk over to her I notice yet again everyone looking at me. She starts to approach me as well. As she walks I see her giving me a complete look over. I didn't bother to look at her at all really. "Welcome to PLHS," she says with pep.
"Um, thank you. I think. Who are you?" I ask in confusion.
She proclaims, "I'm the head of the student body program, Danniell. I like to make every new kid to town feel welcomed and safe here." Oh yay! A peppy kid my favorite! "Let me show you around, since you probably have no idea where anything is. First off we are in the quad right now, this is where everyone normally goes for break and lunch. The building to the right is the cafeteria which doubles as our gym and theatre. Left would be the science and math building. And to our 12 is every other class."
"Um.. our 12?" What does that mean?"
"In front of us." Danniell answers. One thinks she could of just said that. "Let me see your schedule." She yanks it out of my hand. "Oh, you have art classes! I love art, and artists," she says with a miner wink. Did she just hit on me? I don't like her. She's weird. "Well your first period is in the middle building on the second floor. You'll just have to find the room number on the door. Well, I'll see you around. I hope we can hangout maybe."
I walk to my first period thinking. One thought was, Hmm, she kinda hit on me. I wonder if she likes me in a boyfriend way. Weird. I make my way up to the second floor of building two. Room 202. Room 202. Room 202. Ah, here it is. I put my hand on the door handle and turned it swiftly. A older short, plump lady was at her desk. "I'm sorry, Mr. Jackson, but grades roll over between semesters. I will not change your grade. You playing football is not my prerogative," a strong and stern voice commands
"But Mr. Stephens, I have to have good grades or else coach will cut me this year and next, please!" I can hear the sadness and worry in his voice. Good, not just an hour ago that ass pushed me down. Fucking dick. He pounded his hands into his pockets and walked towards the door. He walked by me as if I was a ghost, nonexistent, invisible. as everyone does.
"Ahh! You must be the new kid. Mr?" The short lady now smiling and voice of invitation into the room.
"I'm.. ahh. I'm Joshua, Joshua Jameson."
"Yes. Joshua. Very fitting name for such a gent. I'm Ellen Stephans. But so help me, if you call me Ellen I will destroy you. Just kidding," she chuckled. "Well I will be your english teacher for the year. So get use to me."
"Uh... Thank.. You?" She's fucking crazy. "Where would you like me to sit?"
She glared around the room looming for an empty seat. "I'm so sorry. But there are no open desks. Looks like till we get a new one you'll have to sit up here with me." Great, more ways to place a well lit spot light over me.
