1 :: Sirius

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"That Snape kid sure is an asshole," I say as James and I begin to walk to the Gryffindor common room.

"I'd appreciate him a little more if the redhead wouldn't defend him after every joke," James replies, almost disgusted. He pushes up his glasses and flattens out the untidy locks of his dark hair. "We ought to teach ol' Snivellus a lesson, eh!" Gods, I love it when he takes charge like that.

"W- Wha- What shall w- we do? Sn- Snape already knows everything apparently. The kid passed his O.W.L.s with flyin' colors," we hear Wormtail pant, out of breath and trying to catch up to us.
"No! I mean that we ought to teach him a lesson," says James, "Aye, I bet we could expose his granny panties or something, Gods know what we could do." He had a little bit of a snap in his voice. It was certainly attractive.

I swoon over James in my mind for however long I can fantasize until his voice breaks my day dream. "Aye, Padfoot, Snivellus may be booksmart but he must be DIM if he thinks that he can get my girl on his side for even a moment."

I giggle half-heartedly, "His hair may be shiny but that certainly doesn't mean that the bloke is too bright," a few beats pass and I look around, "Oi, Wormtail, where's Moony?"

"Gah-! Dammit we've lost 'em again," Says James irritatedly.

"I- uh- I'm sure he'll catch up James!!!" Says Wormtail disturbingly.

"Is that what they said about you in grade school?" I snap. James and I giggle about it and I begin to fantasize again.

Once again, my fantasy is broken by James' voice, "Ay, Padfoot, didja finish the Potions homework?"

"We had p- p- potions homework??" says Wormtail worriedly.

"I don't honestly know, Wormtail," retorts James sarcastically, "I was just asking for no damn reason."

James and I giggle for a bit and I begin to think about the situation.

"Prongs," I say timidly.

"Yes Padfoot?" James replies. Wormtail must have been lost trying to catch a butterfly or something.

"Have we- um- What I mean to say is.."

"Spit it out, mate," he says supportively. This calms me down as he puts his hand on my shoulder. Gods, he's strong.

"Well, had we ever entertained the thought that maybe Sever-"

"Snivellus," he corrects me with a giggle.

"Right. Have we ever entertained the thought that Snivellus maybe isn't so bad and we should stop bullying him?"

James' expression changes almost instantly. He went from my supportive best friend to looking at me like I'm Wormtail.

"I do not believe so," he retorts, being extra careful as to pronounce every syllable. Damn, he's smart.

"Well I was just thinking that maybe he wouldn't be so full of hatred if he didn't beat the hatred into him?" I say timidly again.

A few moments pass by and we reach Gryffindor tower, "Password?" says he fat lady.

"Bubble Gum Pie," James says profoundly. He's so confident.

"Correct!!" she screams.

"He may be full of hatred because we make him so but as long as he is a threat to me and my Lily then he will go down as Snivellus in my book," snaps James as we walk to our bunks.

"Alrighty then, I just wanted to assure myself that what we're doing to the poor bloke is justified."

"The poor bloke? The man child is practically stealing my girlfriend, Padfoot!" The thought of James having a girlfriend infuriated me almost as much as him yelling at me.

"Listen, Prongs, even if that joke of a wizard wanted Lily you know that there's no chance in hell that he would get her!" I unintentionally yelled at my best friend...

"Sirius," I'm shocked by him having used my real name, "I very much like this girl. And Severus threatens any chance I have with her. If you're not in board, that's fine but the Marauders won't be the same."

"Well, James I'm not on board with bullying an innocent kid damnit!" I stand up to him and I feel his breath on my neck. I stare into his eyes and he stares into mine. For a moment, everything freezes and I have to close my eyes to savor the smell of him. I open them up and he is still there with his closed.

"You'll always be Padfoot to me," says James. I see a single tear roll down his face as he turns away and he rolls onto his bunk facing away from me. I slowly walk over to him.

"Thanks, Prongs," I say as I lay a blanket over him. I stop for just one more moment to savor the scent of my best friend/crush.

I wait for a response and hear nothing. Trudging over to my bunk, I see Remus lying there, reading a book on The Dark Arts, as per usual.

"Oi moony, what's happening?" It takes me a few moments to realize that he's fallen asleep with a book in his hands. I close the book and mark the page and cover him up.
I roll into my own bunk and cover myself up.

I push the hair out of my face and begin to cry. Both uncontrollably and silently. I let out all the emotions of the last few months. My love for James, my care for Severus, my anger towards what I spend my time doing, along me just being depressed. All of these things flow out of my eyes as if a dam had just broken. If only I had confessed how much I cared for him. If only I'd stepped in and helped Severus when he was down! If only I'd just fallen in love with Remus or some other person (never wormtail). If only I could just finish this damn school and live the life I'm meant to live: Homeless and on the run or something.

My life is a mess and my best friend is the core.

I love you, James Potter.

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