I Kicked the Bad Boy in the Balls ~ Sorry!

Chapter 1- You Killed My Wife Didn't You?

Synch here! I wrote this story when I was 14 and I had a 2 year-hiatus so I'll be re-writing the book! Do vommenfan (can't believe I created this when I was 14 HAHA)

SO : Found this girl's website through a friend and I'm still ever so grateful for her creating the cover of the book. Highly recommend for you to order from her (she doesn't charge, chill fam). I'm not sure if she is still doing it because it has been 2 years but give it a try! Also, she doesn't do covers with Selena Gomez on it. (Sorry Selena, I love you but that's just how it is) Make sure you read her rules as well!

This is her page URL: http://www.bieberbetas.com/index.php?topic=5655.0

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Fucking shit, I can't fix this crap.

Yes, I'm starting my story with curses.

Let's rewind it a bit and I'll paint you a picture of the dilemma I'm in while I'm at it.

Black piece of floppy plastic lays flat on the grass with some heavy duty saliva on it and a German Shepard running around wondering what happened to the game of catch. Backed up by the background music of a father arguing with a maid who in all honesty is more like family over lunch is the sound of my heart pounding at my impending death penalty that will be sentenced to me if I don't fix this right now.

Rory comes over and nudges my elbow with his wet nose, desperate for more play time but I sure wasn't going to have any play time that day because when Jack comes home to find his Nike football out of air, man, play time will turn into jail time. Not sure if it's for me or for Rory though. But it was Rory's fault for biting down the football too hard. Then again, my fault for using Jack's football despite him telling me a million times never to use that particular football. Also, by football I mean soccer. When you actually kick the ball, I don't understand American Football. I mean, it has the word foot and ball in it but you catch it with your hands? I do know that at some point you kick the football but whatever, game ethics won't save me from possibly losing my life.

Jack's my twin brother by the way, elder to me by 4 minutes. We are extremely close. No, we don't have twin telepathy, get that myth out of your head and now I've got to wrap my head around the fact that I must break it to Jack that I killed (in his eyes, it's considered first degree murder) his football. Jack would most probably arrange a football funeral. The last time he had one was when we were 12. Dad and I were present and had to give a damn prayer. How am I related to this boy again? Right, twins. I resumed back to the real world and cup the sides of Rory's face and scrunched up my nose, "Guess who'll be in big, big trouble? Guess who did a big, big mistake? Not you, definitely not you!" and that seemed to make him happy. I got up and rubbed the soil residue off the back of my tights and ran in with the punctured football in my hands. I stepped into the kitchen and find my dad fighting with Maria over lasagne. Maria is 55 and has been here since I was 7, hence her being here for 10 years. Maria is a middle-aged maid who is so sweet and stands only till my shoulder and has been part of the family since I can remember. She keeps her hair tied and always wears a yellow apron no matter what colour her clothes are. She's like a mother to me, I love her and damn, can she cook a whopping piece of lasagne. Woah wait, they're fighting over lasagne. I picked up a fork from the kitchen drawer and tried to take a swipe at Dad's lasagne but was too slow.

"You have a huge appetite and you know that. Go eat something else. " He pointed to my stomach and I looked down. Yes, I admit that I had a huge appetite, but it's not like I'll finish his slice in one mouthful.

"And you know you eat like a fat hippo and you'll swipe the whole thing in one mouthful."

OK, I lied. But still!

"You just compared me to a hippo." I raised an eyebrow at him

"Ah, but a cute hippo." My dad winks at me.

"You called me a fat one. " I smirked and walked off to the other side of the kitchen to hug Maria. "Plus, what makes a fat hippo fat? How do you know if it's fat or not?"

"Hey Maria," I said in a singsong voice "Do you have more lasagne like the one that monkey is eating?"

"I'm right here." Dad grumbles.

"A whole tray of it Alex! Your father found me baking it before I had the chance to hide it. He shouldn't be eating so much of lasagne. It's bad!'

"I'm a growing man and I shall eat what I want, Maria." My dad yells almost inaudibly since his mouth is full.

"Ah but growing sideways." Maria raises and eyebrow and I laugh. I went and sat across my dad with my plate of lasagne.

"You did something didn't you?" Dad stuffs another cut of lasagne into his mouth and points his fork at me.

"How did you know?"

"When do you ever take 3 slices of lasagna at once?

"How do you know if it's not just hormones? And I can eat more than that." I shot back, a smile with that.

"I'm like that dad, you know. What's his name? Professor X? The father of the three gremlins, you know, that one! We know everything."

"Are you talking about the Powerpuff Girls?"

"Aren't you glad I didn't name you Bubbles and your brother Blossom?"

I rolled my eyes and talked about what happened.

"And the Powerpuff girls were his daughters, Dad." I smirked.

"Whatever, I'm still intelligent. Well," He takes a deep breath and I wait for him to finish his sentence.

"You are in some serious deep shit and I ain't helping you!" he exclaims.

Dad grabs my bowl of lasagne and takes some sauce and drew a line on my head and started singing like in the Lion King and runs off just when Maria comes out laughing at his kid-like behaviour and I chase after my dad, yelling, at him while he sings 'Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo' or something like that.

Dad and I bought a new football for Jack. Dad's arm hurt a bit because I chased him outside of the house and he ran up a tree and was scared to climb back down. He had put on a brave face and jumped off the tree, superman position but it somehow turned horribly and he landed on the trampoline. And rolled of and fell flat face in mud.

Well that's my Dad for you.

When Jack came back home we surprised him with the football and he was happy. Giving us the look that read you-don't-just-buy-me-something-when-I-didn't-do-a-jackshit-to-deserve-it.

I'm now sitting on my bed reading a book. I remembered when Derek and I use to have walkie-talkies that our dad has bought us. And it was fun till I lost mine. It was so cool because, I felt like a real soldier or sometimes an FBI agent trying to hunt down a targeted criminal. So nowadays I'm just waiting for something to say to me in my room, "Do you want to play a game?" like that creep ass ghost from the movie. And it came true. It's voice crackled and I heard it from under the bed. And I sat up-right on the bed.

"You killed my wife didn't you?"

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Thank you for making it through the horrendous first chapter! Love you all.

-Syncher