There's only so much pain a kid can take. I wish my father would understand that. When I get back from Greg's, Dad is at Mom's apartment. He is crying and his face is pale.
"Where is she, Emma?" He cries out. "She won't even pick up her phone to talk to me."
"Gee," I say. "I wonder why. Maybe because you were the only person not at the hospital? Grandpa's dead, by the way. Not that you would care."
His expression is pained. "Of course I know. I feel terrible that I couldn't be there. I was stuck in traffic. A car slid off the road and crashed into a taco stand."
I shove his chest. "I don't care. Stop making excuses and be there for her. You don't have to have feelings for her, but you need to be her friend. The world doesn't revolve around you and Mona-"
He cuts in. "I never said it did."
"Don't interrupt me. I need you to man up and fix your friendship, because I am tired of doing it for the both of you. You're both adults. You need to let me be a kid! I have my own crap I should focus on! I just bombed a test! I've been surrounded with clingy, weepy, relatives, and I can't take it anymore!" I run out of breath.
Dad takes me into his arms. He hugs me too tight for me to struggle out of his grasp, if I had any energy to.
"I know that you have feelings for Mom." My speech is muffled by his shirt.
"I know you have feelings for Greg." I swear I can hear him smile.
I take a deep breath if I'm going to tell him, I've got to tell him now. It's been a secret that has been eating me alive for a while now. I think I've known for a year or so. I was just too scared to come out and say it.
"Dad." My voice is small.
He knows me too well. He knows that this is the voice I use when I am urgent, yet scared. He pulls me away. "Emma?"
"I have something to tell you. It's about Greg." I wait for him to follow. He nods. "Go on."
"I think I like him, but other times, I have feelings for other people. Other girls." Tears well up in my eyes and I force them down.
"Emma, it's okay if you tell me you're a lesbian." His eyes and voice are soft.
I shake my head. "I don't mean that. I think I'm half-lesbian."
"Are you bisexual?" He looks serious.
I nod. "I'm sorry if you don't accept me for who I am, especially this way, but I just had to tell you." I choke out.
He puts his hands on my shoulders. "Emma, don't think for a second that I don't love you. I don't love you because you're normal. I love you in spite of that. Although," He frowns. "no one in this family is very normal, are they?"
I half laugh, half sob. I don't think there's been a day in the past week that I haven't cried. I wish I could have a moment of normality for once in my life. My birthday is coming up soon. Maybe that will be my wish.
"You know what we have to do, right?" Dad asks. He means that we have to tell everyone else. I nod.
"I sure do."
__________________________________________________________________________________
First, we tell the adults at Monica and Chandler's house.
"Oh, Emma," Aunt Monica and Aunt Phoebe say in unison. They turn to each other and laugh.
Mom grabs my hand and squeezes it. "It's okay, sweetie." She smiles at Ross behind me. This is the first time they have been together since Mom dropped me off at his house last week. I have a feeling there is a little something sparking up between them.
"Just don't leave Greg at your wedding altar for another woman." Dad jokes.
I shove him. "How would you be so sure he's the one I would marry? Assuming of course I do get married."
Uncle Chandler of course makes a stupid joke: "Would you be more cliche?" It's awful, but comforting in a way. So we all laugh.
Uncle Mike doesn't say anything. He sends me silent support with a lock of eyes. We do this a lot.
Phoebe and Mike's kids are very little, so they don't understand much of what I am saying.
Jack and Erica hug my waist. I'm not so sure they understand what being bisexual means. That's okay. They'll understand in a few years. At first, I didn't quite get it either.
The most emotional person is, surprisingly, Uncle Joey. He keeps reaching for the tissues and claps his hand in my shoulder. It's good to be back with the gang when it doesn't involve drama or death. It's good to be back.
Now, there's only one other person that I want to tell. Greg.
