But I don't tell him. Or, at least not yet. Instead, I sit in the back of the cab car, playing with the elastic on my hair tie. I tell the driver Mom's address, not Greg's. Even though he's my best friend, I can't bear to imagine what he will think of me.
Disgusting.
Worthless.
Ugly.
Freak.
Different.
I know deep down in my heart he would never say these things, but I don't know anything anymore. I mainly do it for my sanity. There has been too much drama in my life over the past few weeks. Mom and Mark fighting. Grandpa Greene dying, and having to attend his funeral soon. Flashbacks of the school lockdown. Coming out to my family. It'll be nice to have a day where everything is normal. Mom agrees. When I get back to the apartment, she suggests we take a girls day off of work and school. I am about to protest; I have missed so much school already, but I see the desperation in Mom's eyes. Something happened with Mark. I know it. I shake the thought aside and nod my head agreeably.
"Sure," I say. "I'd love to." While the night is young, I take a shower to scrub away all my insecurities and worries.
Tomorrow's a new day....
My day starts off with Mom making me a delicious peanut butter smoothie with kiwi, my favorite fruit. I notice she's even put whipped cream on the top for fun.
"That good?" She pours what's left from the blender into a tiki face cup. I finished my drink shortly after she dished it out.
I nod. "Thanks. What's next on the agenda?"
She beams. "Hair appointments and a spa treatment. Sound good?" She peers at me from under her bangs.
Honestly, it sounds too girly for me, but I know my mom could use a break too.
"Perfect."
The hair stylist fluffs my hair away from my face. "Just close your eyes and relax. When you wake up, you'll be a new person." That sounds just like what I needed right now. A new look for a new Emma. I doze off to the feeling of my hair being chopped off of my head.
When I wake, my eyes adjust to the light, I look into the mirror. I close my eyes and open them again. Am I dreaming? I knew my hair was getting cut, but I didn't know it would be that much. My hair used to fall down my back, but now it resides just above my jawline.
"Wow," I say. "It looks-amazing."
Mom smiles and strokes my new hair. "Really?"
"It really does." I turn to my hairstylist. "Thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed."
She raises her eyebrows. "From getting a little haircut? Whatever floats your boat, kiddo."
She doesn't realize how much this little change means to me.
I spend the rest of the day with Mom, getting our nails filed and soaking in a warm tub, eating lunch at Panera Bread, walking through the city.
We pass Greg's apartment, laughing. I stop in my tracks, and Mom bumps into me. This could be my chance. Quick and easy like ripping off a Band Aid.
Mom catches my expression and says, "Oh." She puts her hand on my shoulder. "Look, Emma, if you don't want to do this-"
"Mom." I cut in. "I'm gonna do it."
She kisses my forehead. "Good luck, sweetie. I'll be out here when you're ready."
I nod, and jog up the building's stairs. I push the button on the elevator for his floor. It doesn't take long, and the next thing I know, I'm knocking on his door. His building's callbox is broken temporarily, so it's easily to get in. My palms are sweaty and I feel like I might pass out. This is my childhood friend. He knows everything about me. This is the only thing I kept from him.
Greg answers the door. He sees my face and his lights up. Before I have a chance to say anything, he cups his face in my hands, leans in close, and-
