The basement

Dating

   It's been a month and Liv got the house she put a offer on. Liv goes to Fin's house with Meghan, Edward, Ally, James, Raymond, Margaret, and Kaitlin. They all stay attached to Liv because they don't trust Fin. Liv knocks on Fin's door and Fin opens the door. "Hey Liv. Come on in," Fin says waving Liv and her kids in.
Liv walks in nice and gently with her kids on her legs except for Meghan who is standing bravely next to Liv ready to protect her mom and sibling if she needs to. Liv bends down so she is face to face with all her kids and says,"It's okay. Fin won't hurt you he is mommy's friend. If you want to you guys can go into the spare bedroom and play with toys. See Fin had a son and he kept the toys so go on."
   The kids look nervously at each other and then the younger ones look at Meghan and Meghan says,"Okay just stay with me."
   Edward, Ally, James, Raymond, Margaret, and Kaitlin all follow Meghan to the spare room. After they are in there Meghan closes and locks the door. Liv turns to Fin and says,"Please just check up on them every once in a while. If they get hungry they will ask for bread because they don't know you and that's what they are so use to. Please just make them each a sandwich. If they freak out call me and I'll be over."
   "It's not problem Liv. I can handle it. Go move all the stuff into you're house. I know how to handle kids that freak out."
   "I know it's just different with them. They are my kids and I wanted to escape when I found out I was pregnant with Meghan but I couldn't. It's all my fault that they are like this. I have to go."
   Liv walks out before she starts to cry, breaking down for the first time since she has been back. After Liv composed herself she goes to her old apartment where El, Amanda, and Cragen are waiting for her. Liv tenses up at the sight of Cragen. Amanda noticed and goes over to Liv. Amanda puts her arms around Liv and says,"It's okay. He just wants to help you move. You don't have to be scared."
   "But I do. I'm scared he will treat me differently. He hasn't seen me since before he left the squad. He wasn't there through Lewis and he wants to be here now. He doesn't have that right. You know the real reason he left the squad don't you." Amanda shakes her head and Liv says,"It's because I found out that he knew who raped my mom and never told me because the guy who raped my mom was his brother. I don't want him here. Make him leave."
   Amanda walks over to Cragen and politely says,"Liv wants you to leave. Oh and this is from me," she says punching him in the face. "Now leave and don't come back."
   Cragen leaves with his face all bloody. Liv walks over to Amanda and El all relaxed now that Cragen is gone. El says confused,"What was that for?"
   Liv speaks up and says,"Cragen is my uncle and he knew all along."
   El understanding what Liv is saying says,"That bastard."
After four hours almost everything is moved into Liv's new house that her and El bought together. Liv's phone rings and she jumps before she realizes that it is her cellphone. She picks up the phone and says,"Hello."
"Hey Liv its Fin. You're kids are freaking out and I can't calm them down."
Liv hears her kids screaming in the background and says,"Tell them I'm on my way. I'll be there in 5."
"Okay," Fin says hanging up.
Liv looks at El with pleasing eyes and says,"Can you give me a ride to Fin's? My kids are freaking and it will take to long to get there if I walk."
"Sure let's go in the van."
Liv and El speed to Fin's. Liv runs up to the door and runs inside. Kaitlin sees her mom and says crying,"Mommy's here."
All of them run over to Liv and say,"Up."
El walks in and Meghan, Edward, and Ally go to El with tears running down their faces and says,"Can we go home with you?"
El looks to Liv who picks up Margaret and Kaitlin while James and Raymond cling to her legs. "Let's go with El. We are going to our new house. We can all lay down in mommy's new bed. How's that sound?"
They all nod just wanting to leave. "Thanks again Fin."
"No problem baby girl," Fin says.
When Fin says that Meghan gets enraged, runs over to Fin, starts beating him, and says,"Don't call my mom baby girl."
El pulls Meghan off of Fin and Meghan runs to her mom. Liv sets down Margaret and Kaitlin. "Meghan it's okay. Come here," Liv says holding her arms out.
Meghan goes into her mom's arms and Liv picks her up as Meghan is only 50 pounds. "I thought he would hurt you because he called you his baby girl," Meghan cries into her mom's chest.
Liv holds her right and says,"Shhh it's okay. He won't hurt me. Fin's like a brother to me that's why he calls me baby girl."
"I'm sorry mommy," Meghan says crying. Liv carries Meghan to the car with James, Raymond, Margaret, and Kaitlin on her legs. James, Raymond, Margaret, and Kaitlin crawl into the very back and Liv sits in the middle with Meghan on her lap. El comes down a few minutes later with Edward and Ally. Edward and Ally crawl in beside their mom shaking and Liv says,"What's wrong Ed? What's wrong Ally?"
"We no feel good momma,"Ally says cutely.
   "Okay babies when we get home I'll give you two some medicine."
   They nod and Meghan is frozen in Liv's lap still crying. El drives to their house and when they get their El tries to take Meghan so Liv can carry Edward and Ally but Meghan holds a death grip to her mom. "El stop she's not gonna let go. You take Edward and Ally and give them some bubblegum medicine. I'll take Meghan, James, Raymond, Margaret, and Kaitlin."
   "Okay," El says.
   El picks up Ally and Edward and carries them up to the house. Liv gets out holding Meghan and says,"Come on let's get you guys inside."
   James, Raymond, Margaret, and Kaitlin crawl out from the back seat and go with their mom and Meghan inside. They run to their mom's bedroom and Liv sits on the couch with Meghan. Liv looks at El with desperate eyes. El says,"Edward, Ally can you go lay down in your mommy's bed while I talk to her and Meghan?"
   "Okay,"Edward says.
   Edward and Ally walk to their mom's room and climb on the bed with James, Raymond, Margret, and Kaitlin. El sits down next to Liv and Liv says,"Meghan honey what's wrong?"
   Meghan stays silent and puts her thumb in her mouth and starts to suck. Liv and El realize that Meghan is having a mental breakdown and is reverting to when she felt the safest in Liv's arms when she was a baby. Liv rocks Meghan and says,"El can you go lay down with the other kids I'm gonna stay out here with Meghan and just hold her. She needs me the most right now. If Edward and Ally want to come out and lay with me they can since they don't feel well."
   "Liv you don't have to do this by yourself you know."
   "I know but Meghan her whole life she took care of her younger siblings while I was being raped. Afterwards they would come out and I would pretend to be okay for the younger ones but Meghan knew I wasn't okay. She's had to deal with more than any child should. She needs me right now El. I can't leave her alone," Liv says holding Meghan who is still sucking her thumb.
   El nods and goes into the bedroom. Ally says,"Where's momma? I want momma."
   "Momma is in the living room with Meghan. She said you and Edward can join them."
   Edward and Ally run to their mom in the living room. They lay on her next to Meghan. Liv can feel the heat from Eddy and Ally's foreheads. Liv puts her hand on their forehead and says,"Oh babies you two are burning up. You two stay here. I'm going to get you a wet rag to cool your foreheads down." Ally and Edward nod and then Liv realizes Meghan still has a death grip on her. "Meghan baby look at mommy."
   Meghan looks up at Liv with fear in her eyes. "Yes-yes mo-mommy," Meghan says after she takes her thumb out of her mouth.
   "Do you want to come with me to get towels for Edward and Ally, stay here with them, or lay with El until mommy comes back?"
   "Come with you," Meghan says balled up in Liv's lap.
   "Okay sweetie."
   Liv stands up and puts Meghan on her hip(Meghan is 11 but since they were malnourished Meghan looks like she is 4) and carries her to the bathroom. Liv gets to rags wet with cold water and carries them and Meghan back to the couch. When she gets there Ally and Edward are curled up in a ball with each other in a corner and there is puke on the new carpet. "We sorry momma. Don't punish us."
   "It's okay baby girl. Come and lay on the couch. I have your rags to cool you off."
   They get up and go to the couch going around the puke and lay down. Liv puts the rags on the foreheads and a few minutes later Ally and Edward are asleep. "Meghan momma has to set you down so I clean this up okay?"
   Meghan shakes her head and grabs on as tight as she can. Liv tries to set her down but Meghan is like a toddler who won't let go. Liv gives up and carries Meghan to Liv's bedroom. "El baby I need a favor."
   "What is it?" El say looking at Liv with the youngest 4 kids laying beside him asleep.
   "I was going to clean it up but Meghan won't let go. Edward and Ally threw up. They are asleep now but I can't clean up with puke while I'm holding Meghan. So can you?" Liv asks with desperation in her voice.
   "Sure baby."
   2 weeks later....
   Liv and El have been fighting for the last two weeks over her and the kids going to therapy. At the end of the two weeks Liv yells,"They aren't your kids you can't make them go. They are mine I'll take them when I think we are ready."
   Liv immediately regrets saying it knowing it hurt El and says,"El I'm sorry. I'll take them. We will go to therapy but I don't want you to come. You don't need those types of images in your head."
   "That's fine I just want you to go and get better."