The Soldier's Girl (Under Editing)

Chapter 1

June 2013

CAROLINE'S POV

His words rang in my ears.

"I'll only be gone for around a year, Caroline, I promise," he had said.

Only.

To me a year without him would be an eternity. I had just got off the phone with my dad, he was in the US army and I knew he might be getting deployed soon but I didn't know how soon. Now I did, two months. In two months he would leave for Afghanistan, which means I'd have nobody. I'm an only child and my mom passed away because of cancer when I was in kindergarten. 

I was sitting alone with my mind running a thousand miles a minute in a house that didn't feel like home. We had just been relocated to this house in Nashville, Tennessee a few months ago. Tears were building in my eyes at the thought of it all.

We had been moved around since I was little for my dad and because nowhere we moved was close to family I could never stay with them when my dad was deployed. My dad had been deployed two times since I was born, once when I was only a baby, barely even two years old, but my mom was there for that. The last time was five years ago, I was nine. I remember it vividly, we were in Virginia and since my relatives, who we are barely in touch with anyway, live in Oregon, I couldn't stay with them while my dad was gone. I needed to stay in Virginia and because there would be nobody to take care of me, I got placed in foster care while my dad was overseas. 

I guess I was pretty lucky because my foster family was and sent their kids to the same school I went to. But it was still an overall bad experience, my dad was gone and I was living with strangers and other foster kids. I don't think I could bear to experience it again, but I would have to since I was only fourteen.

My cheeks were burning because of the hot tears streaming down them. I was staring at one of the white walls, my mind was racing, it was a lot to take in. If my mom saw me now she would probably smile at me and sing 'You Are My Sunshine'. I still remember that, every time I would cry she would hold me and repeat that same line over and over until it was impossible for me to cry because I was holding in giggles. After that her and I would always end up laughing because of my failed attempts at acting sad.

The thought of my mom made my ugly crying face get even uglier. Sometimes I wish I was still that three year old girl that she sang to. I  the things I would cry over them seem irrelevant now. Back then my dad had just gotten home, my mom had quit her job (of course I didn't know why at the time) and she'd stay home and play with me every day, I had no idea what cancer was, and I was happy.

I remember a lot of things about back then, my mom picked me up after preschool everyday and sometimes we'd go out to lunch afterwards. I'd always get chicken nuggets and fries and she'd tell me if I ate to much I'd turn into a chicken nugget. One of my earliest memories was when I was waiting for my mom to come get me after preschool when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see my dad squatting down to my height in full uniform with his arms open wide for a hug. I hadn't seen him in over a year and I was so overwhelmed all I could do was cry and let him hug me. I was so innocent back then, yet it was only 2 years later that I saw tears welling in my kindergarten teacher's eyes upon seeing my back at school for the first time since my mom had passed away.

When tears in my eyes finally stopped flowing, I took a shaky breath and looked at the clock on the white wall. My dad would be home in around an hour so I went to the bathroom to get cleaned up. I didn't want him to see me like this, he knew I'd be upset about him leaving because I'd miss him but I just feels wrong about crying like this in front of him. Probably because everyone was always saying how brave he was for serving our country and they were right, so I never wanted him to feel bad about leaving to go fight.