Cocaine Rose (Urban)

Say Something

Ch. 14

Once I arrived at my mothers house I soon realized that there was no way that I would be able to fall asleep. There was just too much on my mind. I laid in bed and tossed and turned. Every time I closed my eyes and drifted off into sleep not only was the nap temporary but all my dreams were centered around Julian. I knew I was going to bump into him sooner or later but I was banking on later. Much MUCH LATER. I felt like a had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, one side telling me to tell him and everything would work out the other side telling me that he would deny Janae not only because we only had sex once but because I waited 7 years to tell him. Even if he didn't deny Janae there was no way we were just going to ride off into the sunset together. There was so much at stake here, my relationship with Rico for one. But most importantly Janae. She has always known that Rico isn't her real dad but how would that be introducing Julian into her life. Janae and I had never been separated, so to go from seeing Mommy every day to having to share time between Julian and I gave me anxiety. I decided to sit up and find something productive to do before the event later on tonight. I grabbed my phone off the dresser and decided to scroll my twitter feed. Alyssa had mentioned me in numerous tweets about tonight expressing how excited she was and her excitement seemed to peak mine. I continued to scroll through social media for the next hour or so before I heard the pitter patter of little feet outside my door. The wooden door slowly creaked open and a huge smile spread across my face. Janae ran over to the bed and jumped up and down signaling for me to help her up next to me. I picked her up and started to leave kisses all over her face while tickling her all over her little body. Continuous giggles escaped her throat which only caused me to bust out into a fit of giggles as well.

"I missed you so much baby" I said

"I missed you too mama" she chuckled

"How has it been here with grandma ? Are you being a good girl for her?"

"Yes mama, abuela and I play all day long. She gets tired but she still plays with me"

"That's good baby, are you ready to come home soon?"

"yes.. no mama."

I couldn't help but laugh at her indecisiveness. Whenever she answered like this it really meant no but she doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

"You want to stay with abuela a little longer?"

"Yes mama because..because she needs me to protect her when uncle Peyton is at school. She'll be bored and lonely without me mama"

"Aww baby you're so sweet" I said before kissing her forehead.

I looked down at her while she fidgeted with the remote before finding a channel that she wanted to watch. She was so beautiful. Its so hard to believe that this little angel came from me. She looked so much like her dad it killed me but the love I had in my heart for her was so unmatched and it was at that point that I decided I needed to tell Julian about Janae sooner rather than later. I just had to figure out how to get his contact information. I couldn't go through his mom or my mom that would be too messy and I couldn't go through anybody we went to school with because I didn't keep contact with anyone of them. I continued to plot until my thoughts were broken by Janae's voice.

"Mama, I have a question." she said

"Ok baby girl what's the question"

"Where are we mama"

I didn't answer her at first because I wasn't sure what she was asking. I Immediately thought my baby was sick. She couldn't remember where she was? Had she fallen or something and my mom didn't tell me I thought? I quickly brushed those thoughts away, there was no way my mom would ever allow Janae to be hurt.