TIME AFTER TIME (KathBie)

10. THE NEED TO REMEMBER

MARA YAWNED AGAIN HABANG hawak niya ang gamit ni Claire. If there’s anything she hates, it’s Monday morning. Parang kulang na kulang pa ang weekend niya. Sinabi ni Mara kay Butch at Jinjin that she needs to be working with Claire for the coming days. Hindi niya exactly sinabi sa kanilang dalawa on how she thinks Claire may not be that mean. Na pwede din silang maging magkaibigan. Naglalakad siya kasama si Claire at paakyat na ng stairs ng biglang marining nila ang grupo ng mga lalake na parating. 

“Claire!” The two girls turn their heads sa direction ng boses. Si Migs ang tumawag kay Claire. He was semi jogging to their spot while the three of the other boys just dragged themselves. 

“O.” Mara pushed Claire’s things to Migs. Ang bag nito at ang mga books niya. 

“Oy, Mara! Parang may iba sa’yo.” Sabi ni Migs na parang mas maliwanag pa sa sikat ng araw ang ngiti. By this time, nasa tabi na ni Migs ang tatlong lalake na nakatapat nila. Now Mara can feel that all eyes are on her dahil lang sa comment ni Migs. Napadaan ang mata ni Mara kay Christian at inuusisa nito ang mukha ni Mara. 

“Okay, bye. Puntahan ko lang sina Butch at Jinjin.” Mara said to Claire at hindi na siya naghintay ng response. Pupuntahan niya sina Buch at Jinjin sa cafeteria dahil gusto daw muna magbreakfast si Butch. 

Tinulungan na lang ni Migs si Claire sa pag-akyat ng stairs. Ito ang nagbuhat dito hanggang third floor habang nakasunod sina Christian na may hawak na saklay. Nag-aasaran naman sina Mickey at Anton at nagtataka kung ano nga ba ang nangyayari.

IT WAS RECESS TIME AND Christian decided to go elsewhere. He took the opportunity dahil busy si Migs on accompanying Claire up and down the stairs. Kung bakit ginagawa ni Migs yun, Christian can’t quite figure out. The last time he checked, the two despise each other. 

As soon as he reached the rooftop, he dropped his bag, tinignan ang view wround. When was the last time is he here? The rooftop, that’s how he and Mara call it. It’s in between the gradeschool and highschool building. Pumupunta sila ni Mara dun if they went to share things with each other; if Mara has a new drawing to show or if he wants to show her another poem.

He sat on the ground and leaned on the wall. He pulled his bag open to grab something inside. Hinila niya ang isang blue leather notebook. Pareho silang may ganoon ni Mara, except Mara has a red one. She uses it for her sketches while he uses it for writing and doodling. He smiled as he run his fingers on it. Years na din kasi ang tanda nito. He opened it, sa first page nakatape ang isang picture. Isang picture na kung saan kasama niya si Mara. Bata pa sila noon. 

He flipped through the pages habang nagfflash ang madaming memories. Then he just shut the book. 

Was it even worth it? Tinatanong ni Christian ang sarili niya. Was it even worth losing a friend for someone to love? Bakit ba kasi pinatagal niya ang paghingi ng sorry kay Mara,ayan tuloy, umalis na ito ng bansa. 

His life after that went a complete turn. At one point, dapat masaya siya dahil no one is holding him down anymore. He started hanging out with Sandy. Feeling niya nawalan siya ng isang commitment and somehow, he felt free. Aaminin niya, he was happy being free pero pag-uwi niya ng bahay, parang kulang pa din ang araw niya. Slowly, he started to feel the emptiness, nung kakulangan that no one can fill but Mara. He misses hanging out sa bahay nila.Gusto niya lang makipagkwentuhan and with Sandy, he can barely do that. Pati ang pagsusulat niya nahinto because he couldn’t find the strength to do so. And when he finishes a poem, he couldn’t share it with anybody. Minsan inisip niya na ishare kay Sandy pero she’s too busy being herself. 

So instead of making poems, he started writing his feelings. Nung hawak niya ngayon, it holds his other side, his soft side. Napaisip siya kung Mara still has her book, paano kaya pinagpatuloy ni Mara ang buhay niya without him? From the looks of it mukhang nagenjoy naman ito sa Canada. She has totally changed. Pero kagaya niya, nawalan din ito ng boundaries. She became free spirited and somehow, she became cool.