"Evan...please? Just give me this last chance" Jonathan pleaded, leaning on Evan's bedroom door.
The Canasian refused to come out of his room after he broke up with Jon.
Evan was scared..scared of loving someone who is the same sex as him. He was afraid of the consiquences, he was afraid of what his subscribers would think, afraid of how it will affect his career, his family and he himself.
He didn't intend to fall in love with Jonathan, but the man was so perfect in Evan's eyes that he could never refuse, but when reality struck him like a lightning, Evan withdrew and broke up with Jon before anyone else would get the chance to find out about the two of them.
Yet Jonathan was outside his door, crying and begging for Evan to come out and give him one last chance to right whatever wrong Jonathan had done.
But Jonathan didn't do anything wrong..no, and Evan knew that.
He was just too scared to love like this..too scared to face the world.
Evan slowly opened his door to find a teary eyed Jonathan, his eyes lost all their glow and Evan was to blame. His lips no longer forming a smile and Evan was to blame, his soul no longer happy and Evan was to blame…
"Please tell me where i went wrong" Jon whispered in a broken voice that made Evan's heart crack.
His tears fell freely from his eyes as Evan let himself fall into Jonathan's touch.
He felt that familiar feeling of security and safety, it was always Jonathan that would drive him insane, it was always Jonathan that would make Evan smile even in his darkest days.
"Alright..just one last time, Jon"
And so, the two of them spent the day together, holding hands, taking a walk in the park, eating ice cream together and even sitting under the stars as they sat on the soft grass in a peaceful meadow.
"Evan? Where did i go wrong?" Jon asked at some point, he couldn't bear not hearing any answers from Evan, Jonathan had waited long enough.
"You're not the one who has a problem in this relationship Jon..it's me..i'm just scared. This is all so new to me..and it's just terifying everytime i think about getting caught together, or getting busted on a regular date that we'd plan or maybe even just a small "you and me" time in my or your apartment.." Evan stopped himself before turning away from Jon "it's all too much for me, Jon"
Jonathan could see the weight in Evan's eyes and in that moment..he decided to let Evan go, if Evan is too scared to be in a life where Jonathan is, maybe he should let him be comfortable even if i means leaving their relationship and memories behind.
Evan's hapiness doesn't lie with Jon so he decided to let him go.
"I understand , Evan" Jon picked up Evan's hand and kissed it lightly
"I'm letting you go" Never had Evan thought that those four words would break him so much.
It was as if Jon had ripped a part of his heart and stomped on it and threw it away.
But Evan knew he did the same to Jon as well the moment he broke it off between them.
Jonathan would have fought for Evan's love but..he didn't have the strength, if he really loved Evan, he would let him go knowing Evan was new to this whole thing. He'd never experienced being with a guy before and that thought alone is scary for Evan.
So Jon had no choice.
And with that said, Jon stood up and placed his hand in front of him, helping Evan up.
The silence between them as they walked towards Jon's car was deafening, and even more deafening when Jon didn't say anything while driving.
It was as if his vocal chords were long gone, and Evan would give anything just to hear it again.
When Jon stopped at Evan's apartment, he opened his door then hurried to open Evan's door for him.
And when he was standing by the doorway, Jon pulled him into a tender and pasionate kiss..a kiss that brought tears to Evan's eyes for he knew this was going to be the last time he'll ever kiss those lips.
Jon pulled away and turned to his car and drove away into the night.
"I'm letting you go"
Jon's words echoed in Evan's mind as he shut the door behind him and sank down on his floor his hands on his face.
He lost Jon..he lost the most important person in his life, he lost the one that could make him smile, crack jokes and can make him laugh for hours..it was over..all over
